Part 8 of the Ask a Medium Anything series is here —  You asked, I answered, and this one goes deep.

In this episode:

• How to spot a fake medium — and the red flags to look for before you book
• What mediumship actually is (and what it definitely is not)
• Why your loved one may not have come through in a reading — and what it actually means
• Can you connect with your own loved ones without a medium?
• Do pets communicate from the other side?
• What happens to those who pass through suicide, overdose, or tragedy — from the spirit world's perspective (**TW)

No fear-mongering, no gatekeeping — just honest, grounded answers from over 15 years of experience working with the spirit world.

Have a question that didn't get answered here? Submit it to [email protected] for a future episode.

 **TW- this episode mentions completion of suicide and other challenging passings 

Full episode transcript:

Hey, beautiful soul. Welcome in for another episode of Spirit Speakeasy. Today we are continuing on in one of our many series that we do here on the pod, and this is our Ask a Medium Anything series. This is part eight, meaning we have done seven other probably hour-ish long episodes with me answering your most frequently asked questions. This is something I'm continuing on an ongoing way to collect questions for, so people that are sending me questions by email, by social media, in my groups, the questions I'm most frequently getting. Then I'm compiling them, and I keep a side list, and every once in a while I pop on to do one of these Ask a Medium Anything episodes, so these are your most frequently asked questions, and we are diving in one by one. I will just put a caveat up front, I don't have all the answers to everything, of course. I have been in this work for, I want to say, over 15 years at this point, and even more than that, in different versions, so I've learned a lot, right, and I do have a lot of training and education and experience, and that's what I'm speaking from, but please keep in mind that I'm not going to be able to give every granular bit of every answer, of course, and I'm always learning and growing through my own experience too, so right now this is what I know and understand, and if you ask me in 10 years, I might have the same or different or expanded answers for any of these questions. So none of us can know all of it for sure, of course, but we will all find out one day when we get to visit the spirit world ourselves. But these are the answers I have for you today in our Ask a Medium Anything episode. Let's dive right in with this first question. This is, how do I know if a medium is real or how can I spot a fake? Okay, this is kind of a challenge question, and I will just say, for good measure, first when you are searching for a medium, do your due diligence. Look at their website. Have they trained anywhere? Do they have education under any other mediums? Do they have any sort of like public reviews? There are all these platforms now where people can leave reviews, or do they have any testimonials, and it should be more than just a couple, ideally, because you really want to understand, like, what is this person's experience, are they really trained enough to be working with the public. I say this sometimes, I know it's a little bit hard to understand. Mediumship is a natural gift, meaning it comes as a natural part of us, if the gift is not available to you, even the best teacher cannot make someone a medium who doesn't have mediumistic gifts. But there is a training, there is a development, there is an expansion that should ideally happen before someone starts working with the public. So, how developed are they? Have other people like, did you get a trusted referral for them? Do you know anyone that's used them, or can you look for some version of online reviews where other people can give you a general sense of how they work and who they are. The other thing, there's this is one so loaded, there's so many levels here, but I also want to say it's okay to inquire about someone's refund policy. I don't give that many refunds. It's probably one or two a year, but sometimes even a medium who is a real medium who gives wonderful, beautiful communication from the spirit world. Sometimes a session just doesn't work for one reason or another, and there could be many reasons it doesn't work, and I've actually answered that question in a different Ask a Medium episode, so you can search Ask a Medium wherever you're watching or listening to this in my little platform, and you will find those all of those episodes. But if a session just doesn't work out, you didn't receive communication from your loved one, they didn't identify themselves, you didn't know that it was them, right? You can ask if, in the case that the session just doesn't work, what's their refund policy? I offer refunds for people who like, if the session doesn't just doesn't work out at all. There are some people that I'm just not the medium for them, and that's okay. It doesn't happen all that often, but when it does, I just, for me as a person, and I try my very best to have as much integrity as I can in my work and in the world, I would give a refund. So, what's their policy about that? And the other thing is, how much information are they requesting from you up front? Most of the mediums that I know, if you're booking with them, or if you're booking with me, for example, when you go in to book on my online platform, you need to leave a name and an email address, because I need to be able to contact you with your reminder and with your details about your session, or your zoom link, or whatever it might be that I need to give you, but I don't ask. Ask for any additional information beyond that. I'm not looking at people's social media, I'm not wanting more information about them or who they're hoping to hear from in the session. So, really, you shouldn't have to provide anything more than just some super basic information to complete payment or sign up for the session, or whatever it is, so these are some things that you're just looking for as red flags. The other thing is, when you go in for your session, it's wonderful to just be really open-hearted and see what happens. Try to just.. it's not that we don't welcome skeptics, because I think all mediums welcome skeptics, and I think all the mediums I know, anyway, we all believe, yeah, you should be somewhat skeptical in the world in general. Don't just believe every snake oil that someone's trying to sell you, but don't be going into a session so hard and so tight and so skeptical that you're not allowing the medium to work with you, because any mediumship session is a three-way communication. It's me as the medium, it's the loved one in the spirit world who is agreeing to blend their soul with mine and communicate, and it is my client in front of me. The other thing that I will say, and this is not a like proof of medium's real or fake, but one of the challenging things in a reading is that the spirit people can bring whatever details they want to share in whatever ways they want to share them to identify themselves, to touch the need of what they need to express, and sometimes what my client needs to hear from a soul perspective, but I will say I just gently invite you. I had this happen kind of recently, and I want to speak in really general terms, but I had a session. It went really well, actually, despite it was over Zoom, and despite like the connection wasn't great, the person was kind of moving around a little for the first little bit, it felt a little chaotic in that way, but the session itself was really beautiful. Two people communicated from the spirit side in the session. They very clearly expressed who they were, the relationship with my client, things that were beautiful in the relationship, things that were challenging in the relationship, things that had happened since each of their loved ones' passings, who had communicated, and then a couple other loved ones also said quick hellos and gave some little validation, but these two were the main communicators for the session, and I thought it went really well. It was really beautiful. There was much tears and a lot of specific details that came through, and I thought everything went really well, and my client actually was happy, but they emailed me a few days later, and they just kind of said something to the effect of, like, well, there was different validation that I was really wanting to come through from them. I really wanted them to mention certain things as validation, and what's so heartbreaking about that for me, as the medium, it's not that the person doesn't think I did a good job because the session was beautiful, but it's that they really missed a lot of the validation and guidance and quote unquote messages that these very significant loved ones gave because they were wanting to hear about one specific detail or one specific catchphrase or one specific oh I'll only know it's you if you talk about popcorn like whatever it is I just invite you to really let go of all that, allow your loved ones in the spirit world to work with your medium and with you in the way that they need to work. All mediums are different, and the truth is, I'm going to get a little direct, and I'm sorry if this makes any of you uncomfortable, because I mean this with all the love. Working as a medium with the spirit world is not a phone a friend situation. We don't call them up on the spirit hotline and say, okay, yeah, now tell me what your job was. Okay, yeah, now tell me they sent you a catchphrase. What is it? What's the magic word? Okay, and now they want you to talk about this one hobby. What was it? That's not at all how it works. It moves mostly through the emotion of the medium and the communication, so they're helping to impress upon us or communicate through us how they felt in different very significant moments, whether that's the tenderness of wanting you to know that, hey, I know you made it to my bedside in those last few moments of my life, and even though I couldn't open my eyes and acknowledge you there, I hope you know that I received all the love that you gave and the special things that you said to me. Right, that's so much more powerful than, oh yeah, they, they want to talk about whatever it is they have the catch word of. Blue umbrella, like you know what I mean, so I just.. I don't know a nice way to say this, so I'm just gonna say it. Don't play games, don't play games with the spirit world, don't play games with your medium, and I believe me, probably more than anyone, I get the skeptical nature to want to do this. I probably would have done it myself if I ever got a mediumship reading before I started training and discovering my own mediumship, it makes so much sense to me why someone would want to say, okay, you're going to have to say red kazoo if it's really you, I need you to say, I need you to get them to say that word, but now understanding the way that mediumship actually works and the beauty and the mystical, like powerful energy that there's not even words to describe that can happen in a communication. I realize how minimizing or how derivative it is just to ask for that one specific detail. Allow your loved ones, if a medium is really a trained medium, a good, true, real medium. Since the question is about how to spot a fake medium, let them work, go in open-hearted with not an agenda. Know that most mediums we work in the need, the need is the energy which moves the communication, that could be the need of your loved one, something that they need to express, something that they need to clear up or share, that could be your need that they know about, because from the spirit world they still spend time with you, they're still connected to us by the love that we share, but it's not going to be typically a want or a demand, meaning, like I was saying, I demand you give this specific word or talk about this specific hobby, and then that's the only way I'll know it's you. The things that were most important to us in the world, as far as like material things, or even like hobbies or jobs, that's not always the most significant or important thing from the spirit world. You guys know I often talk about one of my mentors, Andy Bing, and the way he described it, and I've had other mediums and mentors describe it this way, is if you were in the spirit world, like if you were the one on the other side and your loved one had come to a group reading or a sitting and you had this one opportunity to give them a little bit more of your love, would you be wanting to give a catchphrase that might take a whole hour to get your medium to, like, not even be able to give this one strange, bizarre word or term, or would you want to express those tender moments, or that apology? Remember, you've been on the spirit side, watching your person grieve, watching them go through their emotions. Maybe you realize something that happened in the relationship a long time ago really broke their heart, and you didn't know that when you were here. You might want to address that. You might want to lift something heavy off their heart. So, from the spirit side, the motivation is to fill us with love, but it's also sometimes to address a challenging aspect of a relationship or a personality, or even if something that's going on in that person's life right now, and if we, in our beautiful humanness, are so attached to only hearing about one specific event or phrase or identifying feature, you're gonna miss it. You're gonna miss the beauty of what can really come through in a reading, and then you might decide your medium's not a good medium, and they might be one of the most incredible mediums. Actually, this has happened to lots of mediums that I know. I think some version of this happens to all of us, and I don't have any judgment about people that do ask for a specific word from their loved ones or invite them to share about a specific topic, but just know we have a lot of wants in our humanness. We might want advice, we might want an answer to something we might want to hear about a specific memory, but the spirit world and the energy of mediumship communicates through the need, not the want. So, sometimes something can feel very important to us, and it can almost feel weighty, like a need, but what we need and what we want are not actually the same thing, and we don't always get what we want, and the truth is, I've had people really want and aggressively hang on to the need or the want to have an answer to something that's just unanswerable, and destroy, or like, throw away is probably the better word, throw away a whole hour of validation and specific information and sharing about the day to day and what you're doing right now and how they spend time with you and how they know you know what grocery store you're going to or whatever it might be that that is communicated through a reading and throw away an entire. Unfoldment of beautiful detail and love, because the medium didn't say something that you internally were wanting or demanding from within, that's not a real thing that they could answer anyway. Thinking of someone specific, that's been a couple years ago, but this person was furious with me that I couldn't tell them why God had taken their person, and that's not something any medium could ever answer. In fact, if someone tells you that they can provide those answers or speak on behalf of God or a higher power, they're probably a fake medium. And I was very honest with my client, I said, "You know, that's just not something I can answer for you. I don't know why this specific date and time and this specific phase of life was when this person crossed over. I can't answer that for you, but what I can give you is all the validation that's come through of the life that you guys shared, because these people had been married for like an extremely long period of time, I can get you know this person is communicating about, about the life that you shared, and about, you know, what's happening in your life now, and about the challenges at the end of their life, and sharing things about the family, and it was really heartbreaking, and of course, as a medium, and in my training, I know that this person was just so deeply in grief and pain, and sometimes that does get taken out on us as the medium, so I do understand that that's a layer in there, but at the same time, I just want to encourage you, if you are someone who ever is going to have a reading or go to a group reading, that's what it means to be open, so many clients will come in and say, like, I'm open, and actually they're not open, which is fine too, but just know that's what it means to be open, is to let your loved ones in the spirit world identify themselves however they need to, and share whatever details they need to, and your medium should not be asking you a lot of questions, or for a lot of information ahead of time. Yeah, so really it's just about vetting and discernment, and checking out, you know, how long your person, the medium you're looking at, has been practicing. Do they have reviews? Is there anyone that could give you a referral or a review, or let you know about their experience? It is one of the most powerful things about those online reviews, even though they're so frustrating in so many ways. If you've ever owned a small business, you know how much, how annoying and frustrating these review platforms are, but the benefit of them is that it? Does let you know more or less other people's experiences. Of course, there's always going to be people that complain about the silliest things, and will kind of like demote stars for a review over like really silly things, but by and large, you should be able to get a general sense of any type of practitioner through reviews and, and what they have online, check out their website. Does it look legitimate? Do the links all work? Does it seem not like a hard sales website, but are you drawn to the information there? Do they have videos? Can you see them talking somewhere, right? And get a feel for them, their personality. Do you do they have options? Can you meet with them in person? Can you meet with them online? How does the session work, and just see how you feel about their process, and how they, how they work, and how they do it. All mediums work a little differently. Some mediums will integrate messages from spirit guides in sessions. Some mediums don't, some mediums, all most mediums also do psychic work, because it's very, it's a very similar way of blending our energy, but some won't, some mediums read cards, some don't, so it's really just finding out about that individual medium and if they resonate with you as a person, and I do love getting to see some version of, like, video or podcast, or were they ever interviewed somewhere, or did they write a blog? Right, I want to kind of see into that person a little bit. So I would say that is the best way. And then again, I might just check on their refund policy, right? Like, is it just you're paying for the session, and then even if it doesn't work, that's it, is what it is, or if the session is totally unsuccessful, like, do they offer refunds, that's what I would want to know, that's kind of how I do it, so not that this is the only way to do it, but I think that's a really great way to, to, I don't know, kind of stack the deck to hopefully get a very good medium, and again, you want someone that is trained, that is developed. You don't want someone that has no training, that's just working with the public, or that has done like one or two workshops and is working with the public. Anyway, I would, you probably want someone that has some version of training and. Certainly, a lot of experience, and the other part to this question is, so it was, How do I know if a medium is real, or How do I spot a fake, and can I connect with my loved ones myself without a medium? Resounding yes to this one, you absolutely can connect with your own loved ones without a medium. We all have the ability to connect and access our own loved ones 24/7 without a medium. It's a little different, right? It's a different experience to sit with me in a session and have me move my awareness to the spirit world, have your spirit person blend their soul with mine and have me express details from your loved one, right. That's a different situation. So, really, what I would say is just know that you do have access to your own loved ones. You can work with them to get signs in the world from them, to get hellos from them, but certainly, even if you don't want to do any of that, they hear you, they feel your emotions, they know what you're going through, they know what you're experiencing in your day-to-day life. If you communicate with them, like talk to them, for example, you can talk out loud to them and they will receive it. You could write it, like if you journal, you could write to them and they will receive it. You could just think about them and express your emotions, like from your heart, without even saying any words out loud, and they will receive all that emotion. You could think thoughts to them, and they will receive that, because it's not exactly in a verbal communication anymore, it's in the energetic communication, but of course they still understand, so they really do receive anything you're giving them, and very often I do have spirit communicators from the other side, loved ones from the other side, let me know that people on this side, whether it was at the end of their life or even after their passing, were sending some versions of like love or prayers or lighting candles and sending wishes to them that they receive all of that love energy, prayers, healing as just waves of love and waves of emotion for themselves, so they really do hear you and know what's going on. I often will tell people, like pets and kids often see or aware of maybe see is not the right word, sometimes it is, but are aware of the spirit world. So, if you have a pet that sometimes acts berserk or looks up in a corner with a weird expression or a funky head tilt, they're probably witnessing a spirit person. It's almost always going to be your spirit people or someone that has an interest in the home, or the animal in particular, don't worry about, like, oh, is it? Am I being haunted? Like, that's not a thing. So, yeah, pets and little people can often experience the spirit world, but you very much have access to your own loved ones without a medium, and I do often like to share as part of this as well, that when I connect with my own loved ones, when I spend time with my own loved ones in the spirit world, it's not the same way that I can do it as a medium for other people, because I know my loved ones, so I'm not receiving and perceiving and understanding new information from a stranger that's a different thing for me as the medium, that's what I'm doing for you as the client. But when it comes to me with my own loved ones, I'm a regular old human, just like the rest of us. I can communicate and connect with my own loved ones just in the same way that you can. I could talk to them, I can send them love for my heart, they can show me signs and hellos in the world, which often make me laugh out loud, sup, depending who it is, and the way it comes, comes into my world, but I feel like I have a very ongoing relationship with several loved ones on the other side, but not because I'm a medium, because it's part of our human experience that we can still communicate and say hello with, and receive signs and hellos from, and we can just know in our heart of hearts that our loved ones continue on, just in another way, that the soul doesn't die, that love doesn't die, it's just the physical body can't sustain forever, but our soul continues on, we were a soul before we came into this human experience, we are a soul having this human experience, and we are a soul after this part of this human experience is complete. So, yes, you can definitely connect with and sense your own loved ones without a medium. It's just a different thing. It's this is not maybe like a perfect example, but I often see, like, sports metaphors for these kind of things. I kind of see it, like, or the way my guides have shown it to me, as, like, baseball. I grew up, I grew up in Boston, you know, we're a big baseball town, and I actually played softball for quite a while when I was younger. It's like that, and that anyone could pick up a bat and a softball. And play softball or wiffle ball, even if you know what that is, in the street with your friends, or in the backyard on a holiday, and you could bang around and toss the ball around and try to hit it with a bat, right? Anyone can do that. Going to, let's just say, like a professional baseball game, that's just a different thing. It's a different version of baseball, right? It doesn't mean that you can't play baseball at home, but are you working professionally as a baseball player? Maybe, maybe not. That's sort of how it is with mediumship. We all have the ability to access our own loved ones for ourselves and our own little backyards, proverbially, right? But not everyone wants to do the training and the sacrifice, and the work, and the diligence to be able to work at that level and communicate with other people's loved ones. That's just a different thing, and many people do have the gift and the potential, but even if you do, it doesn't mean that you want to do the undertaking of what you need to do to work for the public. Let's just say, so, yeah, everyone can play just like baseball. You definitely can say hello and play, and, and feel, and sense, or even just know that your loved ones are still with you. That was a really long-winded question, number one, that probably had like four questions in it. But let's go on to our next question. Why didn't my loved one communicate in a reading. Okay, I'm going to answer this in two ways. I'm going to answer.. oh, and then there's another part to this question too. I'm going to answer it for one on one readings, and then for a group reading. Remember, just in the last answer we were talking about the need, so sometimes we want everyone that we've ever known and loved to come through, but there might be a loved one that has a specific need, and maybe this particular loved one that this person's asking about, why didn't my loved one come through in a reading, maybe that particular loved one on that day, in that moment, either maybe they didn't have the greatest need of your loved ones on the other side, or maybe they weren't the person to best address your need in that moment. Let me give you some examples. Let's just say, and truthfully, sometimes as humans, let me just throw this in here. Sometimes we know what our greatest need is. A lot of times we don't. A lot of times we think we know what we need, but we don't actually know what we need, because need is different than what we want or what we'd like to have. Needs a little different. So, maybe the greatest need is actually that you need some guidance around a business adventure, right? Venture idea, a little adventure you're wanting to go on in your career life, and you're feeling very nervous about it, and you, you are a little uncertain about what to do going forward. Let's just hypothetically say that that's the actual need, right, not a want but a need. Well, you might want to hear from, let's just say, Mom on the other side, but it might be Grandpa that is the one that is the best to give guidance around this specific need, this specific business query, or this specific thing that you're teetering on, as far as, like, is it time to start my own business, or do I stay in this practical job, and maybe it's Grandpa that's the best one to give guidance based on his life, or his knowledge, or his knowledge of the business you want to do, or the work that you are doing, or maybe he had a business of some kind, so he might be the one to communicate, because he's the one that can address the need. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean mom also won't say a hello in that session, that's also possible, but let's just say if mom doesn't come through, that could be part of the reason, and this one's not going to be a complete answer. I'll just give you that right now with this question, because there's a million reasons that it could be a why a specific communicator doesn't communicate. What I will tell you is it's never because they're not available, it's never because they're like, I don't know, in a scary place and not in the spirit world with everyone else. It's never because I had a client say this to me recently, that another medium told them their spirit person wasn't available because they'd already moved on. It's never that it's they're always there, they're always available. So it wouldn't be that it often does have to do with the need. The other thing that it could be, is it could just be that the medium just wasn't aware of them. It doesn't mean that that person that you were hoping to hear from wasn't there. It just could mean that that medium wasn't aware of them, or it could, as a kind of a different shade of that, it could be that this medium is not the best person to communicate with this spirit communicator. Let's just say I sometimes will have - I think all mediums have this - is not unique to me, but I can only speak for myself. I sometimes have it. I just had it very recently where my client said, "Oh, that spirit communicator has never come through before. They don't, for some reason. And they don't come through to other mediums, and then I've had it recently where it's like someone I've worked with before, a couple times before, like a couple years apart in sessions, and the person, one of the communicators that came through, they were like, "You're the only medium this person comes through with, this person doesn't come through with other mediums. Now that could be because I have the specific life story or life experience or emotions or situations in my life that are similar or resonate with this person, and they feel like they can communicate their story well through me, like I'm the right medium for them, basically, because it's like that on both sides of the communication, there's a right medium for us in the body, as a, like, a sitter, right, as a person who goes into an office to get a reading, and there's a right medium for the spirit communicator. Sometimes the spirit communicator is actually helping us find the medium and choose the medium, and they're kind of nudging us towards the medium that will be in that moment, in that situation, the best to get what the need is, so it can just be that maybe let's just say I'm not aware of a specific communicator in a session, it could just be that I'm not the best medium for them to work with, or maybe I don't understand all the aspects of their story, but if a loved one doesn't, and the other little bit I want to put in here is like this was kind of one of the problems with that person that I was mentioning, who said like they just wanted like different specific, I mean, there was a lot of very specific detail that came through in that reading, and they just wanted different specific detail, so kind of to give you a different angle of that in a session, all mediums work differently, right? So some sessions are 20 minutes, some sessions are 50 minutes, mine are about 50 minutes. Typically, I'm not going to be able to bring through everyone you've ever known and loved in that 50 minutes if I'm addressing a need, right? So let's just take the same example of this business need, this probably is more than just about the business need. This probably ties into this person's fears, or their emotions, or what their family life looks like, or what this means to them to be able to have this opportunity. There's more there than just I don't know which direction to go with this business. There's more under, there's more emotions underneath of that, so perhaps with that need, there are a couple spirit communicators, Grandpa, maybe Mom, maybe old business mentor that's on the other side now, right? But if that's the need, that's mostly how the session is likely going to be oriented, and we're probably not going to have time to get to the other grandparents, and the grandma, and the cousin who's on the other side, and your dog that passed away, and we're not going to get to everyone that you've ever known or loved, and we might not even get to all the most significant people, depending on the need, or depending on what needs to be communicated in that session, so sometimes it could just be that your loved one didn't come through in a specific session and a one on one setting, because there just wasn't time, so it's never that they're not there in a group session, like if you go to a big group reading, whether it's like a group reading with me or like a famous medium that's doing like selling out arenas at casinos and stuff, which is happening now. Why wouldn't your loved one come through in that session? It could be that you didn't have the greatest need in that moment, or they didn't have the greatest need of that arena. It could also be that they're learning how to work with mediums, and they, it could be like not in their personality that they would want to do this in front of a whole huge group of people, or it could be that they know you wouldn't want to do this in front of a whole group of people. The spirit world always knows much, much more than the medium does. I feel like I could speak for all mediums when I say that they have many more layers of understanding of everything going on in the energy than we do, certainly, because they know about you, they know you know about your family and your life and connections for you in that day, so it could even be that it's just not the right time for them. I have, I felt it myself, and I've had other friends that have felt this when they've been at these big, big mediumship events. I've only been to a handful in my life, but have you ever been to one? If you're a person that's been to these, and the person that they were talking about, let me just back up a second and say, there's something we say in mediumship, and that I heard said when I was very new to this work, that was one message can be for many, and I was like, well, what the heck does that mean? That sounds like a lot of wishful thinking, and a lot of people trying to insert themselves into like someone else's message. Well, I had this experience myself. I went to a pretty large group reading. There was probably at least 500 people there. There might have been more. I'm not great with not great with guessing how many people are in a place. It's just not a good feature of me. But there was a lot of people, it was a packed place, and I'd never seen a demonstration of mediumship before, a group reading like this, I'd never seen a group reading at all before, and I was like, well, I've already been studying this for a little while, maybe I should see what this part's about, so I went, and the Spirit Communicator, there was several throughout the evening, and there was two mediums, and this one medium was bringing through the spirit communicator. This person sounded so much like a person that I know on the other side, but enough of the details were different that I was like, this can't be my friend, but I mean the same profession as my friends, similar parts of personality, but there were other aspects that were just very different, so I knew it wasn't my person, and I could even feel a little bit of energy, like in my body, like where I was like, okay, hi, like, thank you for showing me what this means, because this is very cool, but I know this communication is not for me, but I somehow also know that you're here and you're assisting in this, or letting me know that, like, yeah. Hello from you too. Even though this communication is clearly for this other person, so it can be that it could be that they are there and they are part of the event and the communication, but it just actually needs to go to this other person. Sometimes they're doing it for to build their experience and their comfort level. Other times they're doing it for you to build your experience and your comfort level, so there can be so, so, so many reasons why a loved one does or does not communicate in a one on one session or a group session. I will tell you, I do something in my sessions over these last few years that might be a little faux pas, and I don't know that my mentor would love it, but I try, depending on the session, because sometimes we have addressed the need and we've gotten to everything we need to get to, and there's just not enough time. Other times I do have a little bit of time left, or I do know that they're hoping for a specific person, and I might ask in the last 15 minutes of the session, is there anyone else that you were hoping to hear from, and sometimes I would say probably most of the time, certainly not all of the time, because remember it's not a phone a friend, but but most of the time I can also become aware of that additional person, and again, for many of the reasons that we've already talked about might be the reason that I wasn't more soon, more quickly aware of them, and truly often there are a lot of spirit communicators in the room, and we're not going to get to work with all of them. Some of them are just there to support the communication, to bolster the energy, because why wouldn't they be sitting in there loving you and supporting you, and helping with whoever is the communicator from the other side, in that instance, right? And the last little part of this question is, can my pets come through too? So, yes, pets can communicate in mediumship readings. I do find that it's generally with a person, meaning like often there will be a spirit communicator that's a person, and then they will make me aware of animals. However, there's no like hard and fast rules here. There's so much gray area, and it's mystical, so it's.. it just is ever changing, ever evolving, ever different. And each session is different, because they're the spirit world's energy, the specific quality of those souls, the individual soul, my soul, my client's soul, is that mix is different, that recipe is different in every session. Sometimes, occasionally, I am aware of, like, an animal on their own, it doesn't mean that they're alone over there, it just means that sometimes I'm aware of the animal without the person, and I've been aware of all kinds of animals. I've done a couple pet episodes about this more specifically. So, if you're curious to hear more in-depth stories about me with pets on the other side, you can put that in the search bar of my little channel platforms, wherever you're watching or listening, and you will see the Pets in heaven episodes. I've been aware of horses, I've been aware of dogs, cats, birds. I've had a couple reptiles. Those communications feel a little different to me. Anyway, maybe it's just me as the medium, but yes, certainly animals can communicate. They really, because they don't hang on to their challenged emotions on this side, they really are usually very easy communicators, but again, it's the need. Is there a need that you need to hear from them, or know they're okay? Or did they have a need to express something to you, or is it just a want? Is it just like, oh yeah, I also want my pet. I also want to hear about this. That's not the same as the need, right? And sometimes we don't know that we have a great need in there, and then a pet will make me aware of them, work with me in a session, communicate, and then this person, my client, just melts, and then there's they really. Lies. Oh my gosh, I didn't know how much I needed that. Right? How many times have we said that, just in different instances in our life? Like, oh, I didn't know I needed that. We don't always know what we need exactly, but the spirit world does. So, in those cases, pets can communicate in readings, and I sometimes even will have it where, in those last little 10 or 15 minutes that I'm saving, the person says, yeah, I was, I was just a little curious about my pet, and then sometimes I can give information about that, so yes, pets too. And just to put a little asterisk on this, as like some more information here, pets can also hear you and sense you and spend time with you, and your other pets, or usually little people, kids are aware of animals in the spirit world, also. So, that is a thing. It's very interesting, and if you've ever loved an animal in your life, you know that animals are a soul in there too. And some of them have very distinct personalities. Those are my favorite to work with, but yeah, they can communicate in readings as well. The next question is, what happens when someone dies by completion of suicide, or like a challenging passing, and this says from the other side's perspective. So, what I understand is that when a person passes away through either completion of suicide, completion of overdose, having their life taken from them, like murder or crime. Those people, when they cross over to the spirit world, one, they go to the same, like, spirit world as everyone else. They're not stuck in a middle place. I know a lot of people have fear around that, and two, I understand those souls to be loved extra, almost healed in a different way, given different compassion, surrounded with love, because they likely have a different process to come to understanding about their passing and about the challenges that led to their passing, maybe than someone who, let's just hypothetically say, like, my grandma was like 93 when she passed away, and had been unwell for a little while, so she might have a different processing than someone whose passing was very abrupt through completion of suicide, for example, but there's not different love for them, there's equal and beautiful, profound love and healing. I will say, since this question says, "What's the perspective from the other side? Let me see if I can give a little about that, because I'm not entirely sure, like, what that means, but what I think it's asking is, "How does the other side feel about it? You know, from our soul self, it's a little different than our human perspective, because our soul realizes that these things that happen, these very sometimes hard and challenging things, even on this side, are not permanent, they're not a permanent part of our soul's experience, they're just a part of our human experience, so I have had some spirit communicators, they're all different, right? So, there's not just one cookie cutter answer for this. I've had some spirit people from the other side communicate relief, to be honest with you, and often that will come with them expressing and sharing about the challenges of their struggle and how hard it was for them in their body, or how strong their mental illness felt in their experience, for example, and so some will express that they feel relief being returned to the spirit world, that this life was very hard for them, and often people that love them know about this, I sometimes will have it where they express regret and sorrow and apologies for the people that they've left behind if they have a challenging passing. I am thinking of one person recently who had a kiddo on the other side that passed from it was technically an overdose, but it was after a long period of sobriety, and it was just some strange circumstances around the passing, as what came out as part of this reading, and this child in the spirit world had a lot of apologies because they understood to a much deeper and different degree the struggle of their parents, what the parents went through with this addiction, right, it's not just the person who is in active addiction or mental health or whatever the challenge is, not just that person that's struggling. Usually, the people that love them are also struggling, and this kiddo just wanting to acknowledge that from their perspective on the other side, they got a chance to realize all the sleepless nights and all the phone calls and doctors and research and other things that their parent had been doing that they didn't know about when they were here and so could express different love and different apologies and deeper knowing from the other side I have had it where. Someone's life was tragically and traumatically taken from them, and they express compassion, compassion for what the family is going through, compassion for the people left behind. Sometimes I've even had them express thinking of one that was kind of recent that was expressing it was very like a, at the time of the session, the passing was very recent, and they were expressing that there was still an ongoing investigation about what had happened to them, and that there were so many unanswered questions, and in this case, in particular, they were also expressing a family dynamic, which had a lot of tension, and some people were wanting this investigation to go forward, and other people were not wanting it to go forward, and my client actually was someone in the mix of this family who wasn't getting all the information, and so my client on the other side, the spirit person, was communicating from their side that even if no one's brought to justice, or even if the circumstance isn't fully resolved, that they're okay, that they're at peace, and that they don't need this person who's still in the world to like give their whole life to trying to find the person that did this to them, for example, that they appreciate it, but that they aren't attached to that specifically, and they knew that their loved one was doing it on their behalf, and so they could rest in peace, but they were wanting their loved one to know, like, hey, I'm already at peace, and I'm with the family here, and I'm with God, and if you want to pursue this, like, I'm behind you, but you don't have to, and was also kind of communicating that no one can predict the future, even the spirit world, but was saying that the way it was looking right now, that it, it might be some time if all the truth came to the light, and we might not even get all the details ever, because of the circumstances they were sharing, so they really do have more of like evolved is maybe not the right word, but when we return to our full soul self, we don't have the same like anger or resentment or those parts of our human emotion, they're not the same, so I do find that they come through with a lot of compassion and understanding and forgiveness, and sometimes they're asking for forgiveness, especially if it's like a completion of suicide, for example. I've had actually kind of a heavy handful of completion of suicide passings within this last year. It's May, as I'm recording this end of May, and you know they all communicate a little differently. They all have different needs of what they want to express. I've had spirit people who pass this way who have left kids behind that want to acknowledge what's going on with their kids, or want to make some apologies, or want to acknowledge what was challenging with them. I've had it where I usually don't remember my readings after, but now that I'm really feeling into it, several things are popping into my mind. That's why I keep pausing. I've had it where the completion of suicide has happened when other people weren't very far away, and then there's some apologies around. I'm so sorry. Yes, you're right. I could have reached out to you, but I just didn't, or I wasn't capable, or whatever it might be in that specific instance. So, they, while they sometimes express apologies, or ask for forgiveness, or acknowledge my clients' very hard grief emotions, they often and usually will also be expressing peace and lightness and understanding and compassion and always love, and sometimes as part of it wanting their people here on this side to know how loved they are on the other side, and that they know that they've left a lot of sadness behind, or that people are still praying for them, or sometimes they'll express the beautiful things being done, either for them or in their name in the world, which is incredible. They always express that they still spend time with their loved ones, because we are still all connected by the love that we share. But from their perspective, on the other side, I think they just come to much deeper understanding about how they got to that very hard place that they were in, in the final days, and maybe even moments of their lives. Some express, particularly with completion of suicide, some express a very long, challenging journey with it, some express a very sharp choice at the end of their life that seemingly comes out of nowhere, so it's different every time, because every person is different, and even people who have similar emotions or similar stories, there is still different nuance and specificity of emotion that's unique to them. Them, but no one's being punished over there for anything like that, or anything at all. There is deep love and compassion and wisdom that they can have, and always healing, and it does mean something to them when we process our challenging emotions, and the truth is, I've also often had them say, like, "Hey, this person, this loved one who's sitting in front of you, they're pissed, they're mad that I crossed over this way, or that this happened to me, or that I made this choice. They love us through that, even too, and they often will say, like, it's valid that they're upset, and it's okay that they're mad at me sometimes, and yes, this doesn't make sense, or no, I don't have a full answer for this in the way that they want, so they really do come through with compassion and love and deep understanding, because, like I said, they still spend time with us, and so they feel your emotions in an ongoing way, emotions are not static, they're constantly changing, and a weather map is a good analogy for emotions, because it's always a mix, right? The humidity, the precipitation, how dry is it? How windy is it? It's that's how our emotions are in different proportions, swirling at all times, and they know moment by moment, play by play, how you're feeling, because we can't hide that from the spirit world in the same way we can from each other in human form. So, hopefully this has helped you in some way. I know we didn't get through very many questions, but I feel like the ones we did were a little bit in depth. So, hopefully this has helped you in some way. Hopefully, this has opened your heart and mind to the spirit world. Please know that you do have access to your own loved ones, regardless of how long you knew them, or how they passed, or how long ago they passed. And if you never knew them, you still have access to them, and they still are spending time with you, loving you, supporting you, just right next to you in the unseen world that exists all around us, not in a far away place. So talk to them, send thoughts and prayers from your heart, or love from within, or think about them in your mind, or talk to a photo of them, whatever you like. They receive it all, and they are finding peace, and they are with other loved ones, and they are safe and well on the other side. Let me know what this episode has meant to you, and if you have questions that haven't gotten answered in this episode, or even any of the other Ask a Medium Anything episodes, you can always submit them to me, [email protected] and I will put them on my list for our next Ask a Medium Anything episode, and I would love if you would follow me wherever you are watching or listening to this. Just give a little subscribe - some places it's a bell, some places it's a button that you push subscribe, and it does put these new episodes in your inbox all the time. Those that are subscribed get these a little sooner than even the people in my email community, because they go live to the world before I send the email out. So that is the best way to get the newest episode. And I would also love if you would leave a little review if you are loving this. I prefer to be a five star review if you can swing it or share an episode with someone that you think might be really touched in their heart space by something that we've shared here today, or on any other episode. Big hugs, lots of love. I am wishing you all the magic and mystical experiences in your day to day, and just know that your loved ones are never more than a heartbeat away. Lots of love. Bye for now. From inside Spirits, easy.