Empath's Guide to Fearless Growth: 5 Simple Methods to Break Free from Your Comfort ZoneJul 03, 2023
Have you heard the saying, "All Growth Happens Outside the Comfort Zone"? While we may know that this is true, it can still feel scary especially for empaths and sensitives, like us. In this episode, I share five of my own personal methods and some specific examples so you can see how these methods can work for you to help you ease yourself out of your comfort zone in any situation.
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Hey beautiful soul Welcome to spirits speakeasy. I'm Joy Giovanni joyful medium. I'm a working psychic medium energy healer and spiritual gifts mentor. This podcast is like a seat at the table in a secret club, but with mediums, mystics and the spiritual luminaries of our time. So come behind the velvet ropes with me and see inside my world is I chat insider style with profoundly different souls. We go deep share juicy stories laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be a speakeasy without great insider secrets and tips. You might even remember that you have some gifts of your own. So step inside the spirits Hey, beautiful soul. Welcome. Welcome back. Welcome in to the spirit speakeasy. Today I want to talk about a little bit of an uncomfortable subject, actually our comfort zone, we're gonna go over five simple methods to help you ease out of your comfort zone. I was inspired by this topic by spirit kind of from out of left field a little bit, that we may have all heard this common phrase or idea, all growth happens outside of the comfort zone. Well, if all growth happens outside the comfort zone, and it's so uncomfortable to move into that zone, is there any way method processes that we can do from like a spiritual and personal development standpoint, to help ease us out of our comfort zone and in that direction? Yes, get excited. So I just want to put a little disclaimer here that if you're new to the podcast you, I just want you to know, I'm not a therapist, or a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a behavioral analyst or anything like that I'm a medium. And it's part of my mediumship, I have done a lot of personal development work. And I also lead others in a lot of personal development work as part of my teaching and coaching. And over the years, I have had my own experiences and develop my own methods and processes to help myself and that is really what I'm going to be sharing with you today my own process, or some methods that I use to help ease myself out of the comfort zone because for the most part in certain areas, I might not be in all the areas, but in certain areas of our life we want to grow, right we want to expand we want to excel, we want to advance ourselves whether it's personally or professionally or with spiritual gifts, where we are wanting to expand it's our human nature to want to expand. But it's also because we're in this space of duality, this world of duality. It's also our human nature to want to kind of nestle into this comfort zone we can get in. And we often want to try to set things up for ourselves to be comfortable so that we don't have to experience any discomfort, right, which I, I was thinking about what to title this podcast, and I was like, Oh, what about like, get comfortable getting outside your comfort zone then and then in my mind at this little conversation like Well, first of all, there's no way to get comfortable getting outside of our comfort zone because that's kind of the whole premise is we're overcoming, you know, we're moving through this discomfort for our expansion and growth and it just then negates the whole comfort zone thing if we're comfortable right and if we are only willing to move to a place within our comfort zone even if it's kind of like the edge of our comfort zone, we might not experience the same growth that we would have if we really were stretching ourselves or really we're you know reaching for that higher fruit versus like the low hanging fruit for example. It can look lots of different ways and it can be in any area of our lives maybe you know maybe for you this applies more in a way of like oh, I want to get out of my comfort zone and make new friends or experience more of life right that's kind of on my list this year of things to do just be experiencing more of life now which as an empath and a sensitive. It's that's a little bit outside of my comfort zone. Yeah, I can do it and I can I can, as a person, I can just shift into that space of like being the public version of myself. But I can also get into a zone where I can want to you know, not work on fostering relationships or networking or mixing and mingling it up right? So maybe that's how it is for you. Maybe it does have to do with your spiritual gifts which for me I often a lot of this does reflect back to my spiritual gifts especially as a medium and I know that several of you who are regular listeners and friends of the show are spiritually gifted psychics, mediums, astrologers, empaths. Certainly healers, hey healers, to all of my lovely mentorship group healers, and alumni, lots of love to you guys. So as sensitives, you know, we sometimes it's a little uncomfortable for us to express our gifts and explore our gifts, sometimes it can feel outside of our comfort zone, even though these gifts are a part of us and might feel, you know, for some people, they feel very natural to them their spiritual gifts as they unfold. And for some people, they feel not so natural, because they don't have a lot of practice there. So it can be on either end of that spectrum, there's, there's no right and wrong in here. But you know, expressing those gifts in the world meaning like having to give a reading to a person, or if you're wanting to be a platform medium and go on stage and do demonstrations of medium ships like big group readings, even small group. There's a vulnerability from our human side, when we want to express these gifts. So there is a stepping outside of the comfort zone for advancement of that. And whether it's you know, maybe it's not your gifts, maybe it's your personal profession, right, maybe it's like the work that you do in the world, to support yourself. And maybe it has to do with advancing your career in that way. There are things that are gonna come up for all of us, and usually in all areas of life that are outside of our comfort zone. So I just wanted to share with you five simple methods that I use. Now, some of them are questions, some of them are, like personal development type pondering, some of them are a little bit of like digging inside of ourselves. And some of it is just a little bit of self love. So I'm gonna roll through these and kind of walk you through or talk you through the methods themselves. They're pretty simple. Like I said, That's the promise here. Not all it's easy, but simple. Yes. The first one that I want to share is just a simple question for yourself. A lot of this, I'm going to relate back to my experience into my mediumship, just because that's what I'm working with. So that's the those are the examples that I have that makes sense. So when I try to come up with made up examples, they don't, they don't make sense, because it's not a real example. So I do best with like real examples. So anyway, this first one is just a question that you ask yourself. For me, this came and it came about a lot and comes about a lot for me about my medium ship when I'm wanting to do larger groups, or in the past when I was in training, and when we would get asked to like, who wants to volunteer to do this group reading? Now, the question itself is Do you feel ready? So it's really like when this opportunity arises this out of your comfort zone? thing, whether it's a promotion you want to go for or an event you want to go to or an invitation from a friend, right? It's Do you feel ready? Now? Probably the answer is going to be no. If this is actually something outside of your comfort zone? The answer is probably going to be no. And then it's like an A and B. So you're evaluating this no, that rises up, right? What do I feel ready? No. Okay, that know that rises up in you? Is it because you're not prepared? Or is it because there's a fear that you have like a fear of judgment, and I'm going to walk you through this a little bit. So let's take the example of I had a client recently that wanted to go for a promotion. And they were offered the opportunity to apply for this like leveling up in their career. And when we evaluated this question, and I said, Do you feel ready? And they said, No. And I broke it down for them? And I said, Okay, let's look at this readiness. Now. I under the umbrella of preparedness in this example, I was like, Do you feel like you've done a good amount of work? And in the position that you're in? It was yes. Do you feel like you have the education? You know, to hold this position? I was like, Yeah, I have the education level for that qualification. Do you feel like you could do the work? Do you feel like you understand the assignments and the work that's involved? And do you feel like you're capable of doing us work? Yeah. Do you feel like that you're, it was it was a little bit more of like a stepping up into more of a management role. So then the next part of the question was like, the preparedness like do you feel? Do you feel ready to manage people like do you feel like you have some experience managing people do you get out Did you like it and it was like, Yeah, I could do that.
So the preparedness was all a yes. They did feel prepared when we broke down the smaller steps or elements of what they were going to need to be involved in. So then we went on to the next section, what's, what's the fear? What's the fear them. And in this case, there was a fear of judgment. And it wasn't necessarily judgment of the group that they'd be stepping in to lead. It was fear of judgment of the peers that they had in the position that they were currently in, like that those peer colleagues would think, like, Why is this person taking this position? Or this person has only been here two years? And we've been here five years? And who are they to think that they could do this? So it was kind of a fear of judgment of like, Who do you think you are type of emotion. And then once you whittle down at, you know, whether it's because you know, the know, is because you don't feel prepared? Or there's a fear in there, you can work with that. If it's that you don't feel prepared, like, oh, I don't have the qualification for that, you know, educationally or, Oh, I don't have any experience leading people, I don't feel prepared to do that. Well, then you can work to get yourself prepare, right? Whether it's taking a course or talking to some other supervisors and asking them to help you understand, you know, how to lead with grace, or whatever it is. If it's that you don't feel prepared, you can get prepared. If it's that there's a fear, you can start to work with that fear in this case. Like I said, their fear was that their peers were going to judge them or or believe that they weren't good enough. And then we could evaluate if that version of my client like present day like not a younger version, not an insecure, teenage High School version, but that present day version of them. Did they believe that that was true? Like, did they really feel like their peers would say that about them? And it was kind of like a maybe, maybe they might? And then I don't remember the exact wording I use, but essentially, it's like, do you care? You know, like, and so what if they do, like so these people who you did work with, who you're not necessarily close friends with, you just know them at work? They feel some kind of insecurity and have a judgement about you accepting this position do care that they feel like that, can they can they have their feelings? Does that need to affect you? And it was a no, you know, once we really broke it down and understood what the actual fear behind that like, No, I'm not ready. What that fear actually was, they could realize like, oh, no, actually, they can, even if they did feel that way, even if they did have a judgment and say, Oh, this person's not, you know, why are they taking this position? My client got to the point where they were like, yeah, they could have that emotion or that feeling. And I could be okay with it, either not knowing or just don't care that they feel that way they can have their opinion. And we know it's often an insecurity in the individual not really even about this person taking the promotion. It's the that I didn't go for that when I only had two years. How dare you kind of a thing. So that's that first method is starting with that question. Do you feel ready? When the no rises up? Is that a preparedness issue? Or is there what's the fear here. So that's that one method. Now, the second method I want to share is more of like a, an action. And this is really consider what this thing is outside of your comfort zone and break it down into smaller segments. So I recently I can use client examples too, I can keep them neutral enough so that everyone's privacy is protected. And they're real examples. So I recently had a client that was wanting to do more travel, they had lost a spouse, a partner life partner, and, you know, they only had really explored the world and traveled with this partner, and they were feeling very stressed out about traveling by themselves to this vacation destination they wanted to go. So it wasn't a question of like, oh, they just didn't want to do this. And we're forcing themselves to do what they did actually want to do it. And then it was, you know, this next segment of like, okay, if this is really something you want to do, you know, it's outside your comfort zone. How can we break this down into smaller segments? And then it's thinking about, Okay, what do we need to do to prepare for this trip, and it almost is like a little bit of a to do list, but maybe not segmented quite in that way. So it would be you know, book the travel and buy the suitcases if you don't have them, and prepare the packing list and get the documents this was an out of the country excursion, and, you know, deal with the currency and so there were several elements. So we he kind of just broke them down, like I said, almost to do list style and segmented them for my client. Because when they looked at each part individually, those parts were not all outside of their comfort zone. And sometimes it can feel overwhelming like so much at once. And when we break it down, the individual parts aren't necessarily out of the comfort zone. And you might even realize which part of it is the one part that's out of your comfort zone. And for my client, it was, it happened to be the flying alone. And the checking into the destination alone were the ones that rose up as like the most anxiety inducing or the most outside of the comfort zone, I guess I should say. So they had no problem like picking out luggage, and packing the luggage and booking the travel and doing the internet research. And you know, it's kind of easy these days. So all of those parts were not necessarily outside of their comfort zone. So they could start to move through those segments of this special, you know, first time traveling without this partner. Now, we did set up some extra strategies for the actual air travel and for the checking in to the resort the place where they were going. And some of it was just getting back to preparedness. Some of it was just you know, planning some of it ahead doing the way I always say it is like doing it for your tomorrow self. So my client was actually able to call ahead and do some pre checking in and ask about the check in process. So they at least had an understanding of like what to expect and they could feel more confident in the process. And they were able to understand how the transfer worked from the airport to the destination. And so sometimes just getting more information can be part of helping to calm us down or helping us to ease out of our comfort zone into this new experience, right.
And like I said, it's still gonna be uncomfortable parts, you're still gonna be uncomfortable by definition, but often not always, but some of the time we can do it in a way that eases us in to the shallow end rather than throwing us in a deep cold plunge right. So for the air travel itself, we also this person just so happened to have the availability to go to the airport like plenty early which also helped and it was a lot of breaking down the steps of that specific day right because then once we highlight Okay, so this air travel without the partner is the biggest thing we know or I mean, I knew it's it part of intuitive coaching but I mean I think it's kind of common sense to if you really thought about it, that part of it is the grief that's there of this partner not being there. So, some of it you know my work is a medium we talked about setting up a sign for that day and taking along something that did belong to that individual as like a like a touchstone like something to hold on to for comfort, some visualization about that person and being with them. So once you understand like which actual slice of pie here is outside of your comfort zone you can work to break that down into smaller segments so the arranging the getting to the airport the going through the check in and security the pre getting the documents online how we all do it to our like phones now the choosing the seat the lining up in order the what to do when you get in the plane the travel itself, and making sure we had like downloads prepared and movies to watch on the devices and, and those kinds of things. So tip number two or method number two, is just breaking it down into smaller segments. One to help you identify which part of this exactly not is it the whole that's out of the comfort zone or is it just one little dialed in area. And breaking it down into smaller segments also helps us manage these because individual segments feel much more bearable or manageable often then the whole of it, particularly when it's something that is outside of our comfort zone. So number three on this list of five simple methods to help you ease on out of that comfort zone is what's in your emotional stew. Now this is a bit of a self evaluation or self reflection question. Oftentimes, when we are challenged with something outside of our comfort zone particularly when it's something we like that's towards a goal that we actually want like the promotion will be towards the goal of advancing your career, your finances the you know, there's lots of obviously Lots of different goals. For me, I want to talk about this one with my platform mediumship. Because I know that that is one of the expressions of my soul. It's something I'm drawn to. It's something I'm continually drawn to, even though it's so outside of my comfort zone. But I feel very happy when I'm doing it. I'm so passionate about it. So what's in the emotional stew? when an opportunity comes with one of my mentors, or, you know, an affiliation like that to do a group mediumship reading, I get this feeling of anxiety, this feeling of oh my gosh, like, Am I prepared for this? Do I am I able to do this do I don't want to disappoint the spirit world, I want to do a good job for the sitters with their loved ones, I want to honor everybody you know, all the things that rush in, when something's outside of our comfort zone, whatever that is for you. So this, what's inside your emotional stew is really sitting with the experience itself. For me, it's this, getting on platform, getting in front of a group of people, a large group of people, and connecting with the spirit world and saying information and hoping someone understands that are hoping I'm doing a good job, but have also trained and been prepared. So I'm feeling into this emotional stew about the demonstrating demonstrating is what we call it the group readings, big readings, and feeling okay, there's a segment in here that wonders if I'm all the way prepared as much as I could ever be, which we're never going to be prepared as much as we could ever be. There's this segment in here. Oh, wait, there's a segment in here that feels excited, and feels like the energy of excitement here. Oh, and sometimes excitement is so close to that feeling of nervousness or anxiety, that we might not recognize it as a separate emotion. So that's really, the whole point of what's in your emotional stew is looking through sorting through feeling through the the whole of the emotions for the individual parts, right for these two ingredients, the carrots, the potatoes, the peas, whatever you got. And it's are there bits of excitement in here? Are there bits of the thrill of the challenge or you know, when it's working with the spirit world. It's the honor and and joy of getting to blend my soul with theirs and connect with them and work with them in that way. So that's also in the air as part of the excitement. Now for me, it comes coupled with the pressure of like, doing my best job. And so I can separate those a little bit and realize like, oh, yeah, while I feel this pressure of doing my best job, I also feel this, I know that there's joy here, and an honor and a privilege of getting to do this work. So by looking at what's in the stew, it's similar but different than the others, because it's like we're trying to see what are the other emotions in here that we might not even be recognizing. And then it is just a way to ease yourself out of that comfort zone to whatever this thing is that you're wanting to do or wanting to move towards. But by realizing that there's a stew of emotions here, it's the anxiety or the, I'm just gonna use that word anxiety, you can label it for yourself, you don't have to subscribe to that label, if that doesn't fit for you, but that the anxiety, for example, might be just the loudest emotion in the air. But it doesn't mean it's the only emotion in there. And what if there's 10 other emotions that are anxiety that you realize, oh, yeah, actually, I do really want to do this, I'm just feeling a little nervous. But that's okay. And this is how I'm gonna grow. And so it's it's a different kind of, backdoor and way to work with yourself and with these emotions. And for me, for some reason, I clearly am very food oriented. But stew is just easy way emotional stew is an easy way to remember it. But it also kind of feels like an emotional stew, especially when I get into that like heightened nervousness or towards anxiety. And I really feel it in my body and all of that. So what's in your emotional stew, around whatever this is that's outside your comfort zone. And by sorting the individual ingredients, so to speak, or the individual emotions, it can help you move towards easing out of that comfort zone towards whatever this is that you're wanting to do. In your own personal example. Okay, number four is let the resistance rise. At the beginning, we were talking about how it's sometimes our human nature to want to avoid discomfort to want to avoid difficult or challenging emotions that we might label as negative or emotions we really want to experience in our day to day so we can resist right? And if there's something that's outside of your comfort zone and you're interested in moving towards it, there's this resistance that rises this emotional pushback kind of from within yourself and And you can title that emotion however you want, I have it titled here as resistance. Because in the spiritual work, we often call it resistance, you may have heard that phrase, What you resist persists. That is why let the resistance rise. Once you can identify what it is about it that you're resisting, you can work to, to have a conversation with yourself, right. And this, a little bit of this is tipping into the self love, the next one is really self love. But this one's tipping into the self love because you want to have a conversation with yourself just like you would with any person that you are trying to help ease out of their comfort zone into whatever this thing is you're moving towards right into this new friend group into this new experience into this new position into these exploring these spiritual gifts. It's this conversation within yourself. It's Oh, how are you feeling? Oh, actually, I feel resistant. Okay, let that rise up. What does that resistance feel like? What does that feel like? It's about which part of this are you resisting?
Back to my mediumship example, it's Oh, I personally, it's probably gonna sound crazy to some of you who know me and know, like a lot of the things I've done, I sometimes have a resistance to being seen in public in a vulnerable way. Now to be seen as an actor, to me is doesn't feel always vulnerable. I mean, sometimes depending on what you're doing, and the role, etc. But being in my mediumship, and being seen feels a little bit vulnerable to me in a different way in a more exposed baring my soul this is this is who I truly am kind of a way. So there might be some resistance about that. And it might not be about the work itself, right. Like I said, in this example, I am prepared. I have trained for many years, specifically, in demonstration, I've worked with some amazing mentors who are fantastic demonstrators. And so I have had practice in this, I know how to do this before and it's work just fine. So you know, it's not a preparedness issue here, I'm as prepared as I could be at this phase, you know, in 20 years, I'll be that much more prepared. But right now, like I've been working on it. So what's that resistance, then, as I breathe, and I feel that resistance rise up, I realize, Oh, it's this fear of being seen. It's this vulnerability, it's resisting, getting out there in public and being my whole self and, and then when you can acknowledge it, you can work with it from there, depending on in your life, what it is, that's outside your comfort zone that you're wanting to move towards, right. For example, suppose that you're someone who is experiencing a single time in your life and you're ready to move back into relationships, I do a lot of work with people who are wanting to find love or find partnerships. So say that that's you and you're wanting to move towards finding a partnership or putting yourself out there. Maybe we were just putting ourselves out there. And that's the part that's so uncomfortable. Well, as that resistance rises, and you feel okay, what about putting yourself out there? So uncomfortable? Do you have social media? Yes, I do. Do you have your picture up there? Yeah, I have a picture of me with my family, or my cat or whatever. Okay, well, so it's not necessarily putting your picture out there. No. Do you have conversations with people? Yeah, I do. So as as we're thinking through and working through even within ourselves. Okay, what about this starting to put myself out there for relationship? What about this? Is this resistance? What, what's that pushback within me? Or what is that? Stubborn voice inside? Like, what is it trying to say? And you might kind of hear it as an idea, like, oh, I don't want to be I don't want to be associated with that, like a judgement. You might feel it as an emotion of like, Oh, I'm I'm, that's not for me, or I don't want to be on those apps. I hear people say that often. And then it's, it's kind of working in at. Okay, so the resistance is around the dating platforms, let's just say say we whittle it down at that level. Yeah, I would meet someone in person, if they came up to me, that would be fine. I don't want to be on the app. So the resistance we know is more specifically about these apps in this example, the dating apps, so then it's okay, well, are you comfortable looking at people's profiles? Yes. Are you it's, it's, it's something in there that is the resistance, the part that we're resisting, right? And then it's what is the emotion about that? And, you know, it's gonna be different for everybody, but at least once you recognize what that resistance actually is, and maybe it's a younger version of you, or a previous version of you that feels protective of you that feels like I want to just give all these people access to talk to me if they want to, or I don't want to have to have a conversation with someone that I haven't met face to face. acent and I've been, I've heard about people being scammed online before, whatever it is, there could be 100,000 different emotions or feelings or past experiences that it could be coming from. But once you can recognize which piece of this out of your comfort zone experience you're resisting, you can start to feel or experience the more specific emotion. What is that resistance? Feel like? What does that resistance say? Where is this resistance from? Or what is it about? And even in the staining example, it could still be some kind of a fear of failure or failure of judgment or, you know, most things boil down to fear or love at the very bottom. So just working with that resistance will get you in to the root of the fear or the challenge if you pick at it enough. And then number five, simple method to help you ease out of your comfort zone.
This one is really self lovey dovey. This one is permission to say no. And you might be saying like joy, how does this even fit in with these, like, we're supposed to be easing into our comfort zone, not saying no permission to say no, what are you talking about? I find, especially those of us that have experienced trauma or have felt disempowered at any time, there's a power in the permission to say, No, at the end of the day, whatever this event or object or out of your comfort zone example in your life is that we're talking about? Can you give yourself permission to just say no, like, No, I'm not doing that. And it doesn't mean that we're not working towards getting out of your comfort zone in this area, or stepping out of your comfort zone, however you like to say it. But can you hold that permission for yourself to say no, now there are several things in here. So often, if you're listening here, you probably sensitive, empathic, I believe we're all empathic and sensitive, and all have intuitive and psychic gifts, we're just not necessarily trained to use them, we all have intuition, we all get that little nudging voice inside that voice of our intuition. So just that permission to say no is very powerful, because often we become such people pleasers, or have this need to please or this need to be appeasing or this Andy being one of my mentors, who I adore, calls it pandering. You know, it's, it's a different way of saying need to please but, you know, sometimes we can be confused by that by this desire to make others happy or make ourselves accepted or liked. And it can lend itself to, you know, sometimes we get bullied out of our comfort zone a little bit. That's the truth. And do you have permission to say no, because there's something empowering, even I'm going to give a few examples here. But even when I look at the mediumship, there's been times when I've been invited to do something, and there's definitely a strong side of me that is like, girl, don't do that. Like, what are you like, don't sign up? What are you doing? But there's this other part of me. That's the part of me that's wanting my soul to move. And it's expression that kind of I've joked about this before. There's been times when like, I feel my hand, like, I feel like I'm raising my hand and volunteering for something. And this other side of me is like, what are you doing? Like, no, no, no. So sometimes there's other parts of us that can take over. But when it comes to, there was I can't even remember what the event was, or something that I was invited to participate in, it was kind of a big deal. Or to me at the time, it was kind of a big deal. Like I said, I know, it's regarding my spiritual gifts. Like, I can't even remember exactly what it was. And I was putting so much pressure on myself, I was getting so worked up about it. And I just kind of paused with myself. And this is where it's self love and said to myself, like, Hey, you don't have to do this. Like you don't wait, you don't have to do this, actually. And I was like, oh, but this is what I what I need to do. It's good for my you know, it's it's part of my service. It's, it's good for my gifts, it's good for my expansion. I should do this, you know, it's that should like someone telling us we should do this. This is the thing that you need to do type thing. And I was like, Yeah, you this this kind of internal conversation I was having. I was like, Yeah, okay, like, I can see how all of those things are valid that you feel, yes, this would be good for for your expansion for all of these things for you know, your friend group for your service for all of these things. Yes, that's true. But still, you don't have to do it. You don't have to advance your work. You can stop right here. You can just stop right where you are. And that's okay. And I love you anyway. And that's okay. You're enough just like this. You don't have to do that. You could, you could say no. And then as soon as that wash over me and I had that really like, oh, I actually could say no, immediately that other side of me was like, Yeah, but I want to do it. So it's like this little part of you that rises about like, Yeah, but I'm a little curious and maybe I will peek over there. And that's what lets you know, like, okay, maybe I do need to keep exploring this, maybe I can keep having this conversation with myself inside myself, maybe I can keep navigating and exploring what these emotions are in here, you know, the things we've already talked about. But giving yourself that full permission to say no, even if, you know, in that example, I gave my client with the promotion. I did ask her at one point, like, do you have permission to say no to this? And it was kind of like, even though they're, you know, they wouldn't receive the salary increase? Yeah, that is a trade off with this that is, you know, but is the mental health, anxiety and stress you're putting yourself under more important to pay attention to then this promotion and ease of financial burden? which one feels like you want to lean towards it? Do you have permission to say no to this promotion, because it's making you too stressed out thinking about it, even though you will be giving up this, you know, increase in salary. And, you know, we came to this Yes, like, this person did have permission to say no, within themselves, they could give themselves the option to make that choice. Now, it's not saying like, take that choice, and say no to everything. But it's, it's evaluating permission. And in the spiritual work, I have come to learn through lots of personal journeying and evaluation, that this idea of permission is a really powerful emotion within us. And it's often so subtle, and so quiet, it almost stands like a big, strong bouncer at the door. It's kind of how I see permission, sometimes. So much so that we don't even always realize it's an issue or it's there that like, Oh, I just don't have permission to say no, or am I giving myself permission to? Like, I feel like I have to do this. I mean, how many times have you felt? Or have you heard someone else say like, why I don't have a choice, I have to, and in a small percentage of those cases, maybe it's like a, you absolutely have to do this, or you're gonna go to jail type thing. But a lot of the times, it's just us feeling like we can't say no, or we don't have permission to say no. And truly, all of us should be autonomous individuals with our own permission. within ourselves, we don't necessarily need someone else's permission to tell us, it's okay to pass on that promotion. It's okay to not engage with this person anymore you've been talking to because they are not, they're not the person that you're trying to be in relationship with, you know, on your list of qualities here. It's okay to not go public with your spiritual gifts yet and take paying clients because it's putting too much pressure on your gifts. And there's a different way to do this. So giving yourself as permission to say no, isn't this pass out on everything to just say, No, it's reminding yourself that is on the menu. It's on the menu. And yes, it might mean letting go of other aspects or other elements or being okay with things just as they are, and not stepping outside your comfort zone, taking that risk joining that group, you know, saying yes to that date, taking that new job, exploring this new gift that's presenting itself to you, whatever else you could come up with, you know, it doesn't mean that you have to do it, and you should be able to give yourself permission. Like I said, even reminding yourself that it's on the menu, to be able to say like, yeah, that's a no, and no doesn't even always mean hard. No, never ever, ever, ever. Sometimes no means not right now. And even if you take the lesser No, right, not the hard No, the soft, no, and say like not right now. Could you could you give yourself permission to have that on the menu? Not right now. And yes, like, for example, with the promotion, it might mean that position doesn't come up again. And if you want to go for promotion later, it's going to be something different. Okay, I can live with that. I can say Not right now, I can reevaluate this in six months, I can get a little more prepared. And look at this opportunity. Again, I can pick a different group to join next time there's an opening you know, there's, there's, there's always another option, and even though it might not look the same, it doesn't mean that these opportunities don't circle back around for us, I believe. And I've been shown in my life many times over through myself and others that if something is meant for us, meaning like it's a part of our journey that we would really benefit from or it's it's a person were meant to become friends with, or a type of work that we're meant to experience. It will loop back around again to give you another opportunity to choose it, because we do have free will choice and that freewill choice involves permission to say no, I will stop harping on this one now, but this has really as simple as This one seems it has made a big difference for me in my life. Because sometimes when I just buckled down with myself and say, okay, then it's no, okay, no, you don't have to do it. The answer's no, we're just going to say no, I do realize that there is a piece of me that actually wants whatever that is outside my comfort zone. So I hope that these methods have helped you because I want your growth and expansion. And I hope that you want it for yourself. And if it is true that all growth happens outside the comfort zone, how can we gently lovingly, honestly, and with as much growth and evaluation as possible, how can we start tapping on out of that
comfort zone? How can we start easing ourselves down the road and start moving towards whatever it is that we're truly our soul is calling us to move towards. And if it's not, it's not just let it go. But if it's something that keeps rising for you, it keeps pulling your interest that you really want to do but you just have some fear around. Hopefully, these methods methods will help you at least just to have that honest and loving conversation with yourself, to understand yourself more deeply, and why you do or don't want to step outside the comfort zone. So let me know which of these five simple methods was the most helpful for you or resonated with the most with you, if you want to go the extra mile and give me an example of how you've used one of them or implemented one, I would love that. And I'm happy to share it on the show. If you give me permission, you could just email me joy at joyful medium.com If you haven't already tried my free three day mini course sign magnet that is still available on my website, joyful medium.com. And you just pop right on there, pop your email in it will also put you on my VIP insiders list and you will get emails, giving you access to my free monthly community healing that's live on Zoom, everyone's invited, you just have to have this zoom link to join. It's not recorded or posted anywhere. It's it's for my VIP insiders, really, it's a community service that I do every month, it'll give you access to deals and free workshops that I do. And specials, it'll remind you about this podcast here and there. And I would love to have you start learning how to work with your own gifts. If that feels like something you can ease outside of your comfort zone to move towards. I hope you've enjoyed this topic I like is I really felt inspired by spirit to talk about the comfort zone. And this is something that I work with myself on a regular basis. And while I do sometimes receive coaching from other people, I think we can work with ourselves on a day to day basis to coach ourselves and be present with ourselves and just have these conversations with ourselves. And yeah, it's wonderful to work with someone else to coach or if you want to work with me joyful medium.com or other people that I have on. It's great to work with someone else when you need that extra support and when you need some tools, and guidance and mentorship. But there are simple methods like this that we can open up conversation with ourselves just as well on a regular basis kind of in between those sessions. So Big hugs, lots of love. Bye for now from inside the spirit speakeasy