Ever wonder if a loved one’s quirks, humor, or even their stubborn streak survive beyond death? In this eye-opening episode of Spirit Speakeasy, we explore what actually happens to our personality after we die.

As a professional psychic medium with thousands of spirit conversations under my belt, I’ve seen time and again how distinct, recognizable personalities show up from the spirit world—complete with jokes, sass, and sentimental streaks.

Whether you're healing after loss or just deeply curious about the continuity of consciousness, this episode will help you:

• Understand what does and doesn’t shift after we cross over
• Hear real stories and examples of spirit people communicating with their own sense of humor, quirks, or preferences
• Discover why personality in the spirit world matters for healing unresolved relationships
• Learn how the essence of who we are shines through in readings—even decades after passing

✨ This isn’t just a philosophical chat—it’s grounded in firsthand experience, surprising messages directly from loved ones in the spirit world and a few moments that might just make you laugh.

Connect with me: JoyfulMedium.com

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Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, beautiful soul, welcome back or welcome in to another episode of spirit speakeasy. Have you ever wondered if we keep our quirks, our sense of humor, or even our stubborn streak after we cross over to the other side in today's episode, we're diving deep into a question that often lingers quietly behind the bigger ones about the afterlife, what actually happens to our personality after we die? As a working medium, I've had 1000s of conversations with the spirit world, and let me tell you, personality doesn't just vanish in a puff of white light. In fact, it's often one of the clearest, most validating parts of a reading, whether it's a dad cracking a sarcastic joke from the other side, or a grandma insisting that I am very clear about the way she wants to be described, the essence of who they are still shines through. So today, I'll be sharing some real stories from sessions that just show how distinct and sometimes how hilarious spirit personalities can be. We'll explore what seems to remain consistent, what softens or shifts, and why this matters so much for our own healing, closure and even forgiveness. So if you've ever wrestled with a complicated relationship with someone who's passed, or if you just want deeper understanding of who we really are beyond just this physical body, this episode's for you, still themselves. Do we keep our personalities after death? Let's dive in part one. I want to just touch into this idea of, do we keep our personality after death, I want to explore a little bit our identity beyond just this physical body. If you've been here for any length of time, you've probably heard the phrase, we are humans. We're a soul in a physical body, having a human experience. You might have also heard it as we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. It all boils down to that we are a soul in a physical body. It's just more. It's more than just a poetic idea. It's a powerful truth about who we really are. At our core, we're a soul, eternal, expansive and multi layered, and only a portion of that soul is what I like to think of as, quote, unquote, live streamed, so to speak, through our physical body while we're in human form. That portion expresses itself as our personality, our sense of humor, our preferences, how we show up in relationships, even our habits and our flaws, but the larger part of our soul, what many refer to as the higher self, or the soul self, remains outside the body, existing in full awareness. Our soul self holds far more wisdom and memory than our human mind can access while we're in physical form, that higher self, that soul. Self contains every thought, every word, everything we've ever spoken or done, every emotion we felt. It holds the essence of how we've shown up in every relationships, moment by moment, not just in this lifetime, but in any lifetime our soul has ever experienced. It's like a mystical, limitless database that knows us completely, even if we don't consciously remember all that we are right now in any given moment. So when someone passes, they don't disappear. Become some vague, formless, mystical puff of white light, they return to that fuller version of their true selves, the expanded soul self. They don't lose who they are here. It's quite the opposite, their personality, their quirks, their emotional patterns, often can be communicated even more clearly in spirit than they did in life. Why is this? Because those qualities aren't just being filtered through pain illness. Are complicated human egos. What's left is the true energetic fingerprint, or energetic stamp of the person, and it often shows up in these vivid, unmistakable ways as a medium, I found that personality is one of the clearest validations in a reading like I was saying, whether it's a dad that wants to crack a joke about his daughter having a lead foot as a driver, or that grandma insisting she's not A gossip, she just likes to know information. The Spirit world's constantly reminding us, Hey, I'm still me. We're still us over there. And as a person who's lost a loved one, I found that the signs that they share often tie into their personality, their sense of humor, or something that's really unique to them. Yeah. For example, after an old friend passed, I started finding dimes in the most random and strange places, under my car seat, in the dryer at the gas station, and even once randomly inside an Amazon package. I definitely didn't order a dime. He was someone who always had like, a little coin trick that he could do or a witty joke. He even collected coins, not the valuable kind, just the ones he seemed to find on the ground, wherever he happened to be. So when I find dimes now it's a it's it's not all the time, but when they do pop up, it always feels like it's just his playful way of saying, I'm still looking out for you kid with that same old wink in his voice, their essence doesn't vanish. It shines through, and even when What's even more beautiful is that they're able to bring a much broader understanding from their perspective on the other side, with access to their full soul awareness, they often, as part of that life review, they reflect on their life with insight, with clarity, with compassion, in a different way than maybe they did when they were here. So this expanded perspective allows for growth and even healing on the other side. So while they're still their same self, they've also returned to the version of themselves that holds all the wisdom of their entire journey, not just this lifetime. It's one of the most comforting truths that I've come to through this work, and sometimes that personality doesn't just show up in memories or moments during a session, it shows up in their humor. Which brings us to something that often surprises people about the spirit world. I often get asked, do loved ones on the other side have a sense of humor? And the truth is, there is a lighter side to the afterlife. Believe it or not, this might not surprise some people listening, but the spirit world has a lot of humor. Not only do our loved ones retain their personality, but many of them in a reading can help communicate through the same wit, the same sarcasm or playful charm even that they had here, sometimes even more clearly, because they're free of all that stress or pain or heaviness or complicated emotions that they may have carried in life. One of the most common ways spirits lets us know that they're okay is through laughter. And let me tell you, some of the things that they bring up during sessions are downright hilarious. I've had a mom cracking jokes about her own funeral arrangements and how the funeral home that they used had styled her hair in a way that she considered like totally unacceptable, didn't look like her, was really funky, and her daughters couldn't stop laughing in the reading as the mom was helping me express how grateful she was, as they were scrambling behind the scenes at this funeral home with this, like, little drugstore hairspray and a little comb to try to, like, fix her hair to make her presentable, because they had made some version of, like a helmet head, is what She was sharing, which that was really funny and and even though it was so poignant to hear from their mom, the way she was expressing this just made them cracking up with laughter, because they were like, Oh my gosh, we knew she would hate her hair like that. And it was a whole thing. I had a husband come through or communicate in a reading that they had loved to travel together, and he was sharing that his wife had an upcoming trip as part of the validations. He was sharing, you know, that they trips that they had taken and adventures they had had, and that they still had things that they were looking forward to on their list that they he hadn't got to participate in due to his untimely passing, but he was explaining that his wife was my client, had a trip coming up, and he even was teasing her about not taking too much luggage, and she just bust out in laughter. And she was sharing like, oh my gosh, I can't believe he's still teasing me about my packing from the other side, but it was so specifically him, because the way she was saying it, it's like every one of these trips that they went on, she would way over pack. He would give her a hard time about it. And then when they were on the trip, it'd be too much luggage, and he would give her a hard time about it. So this was like a running joke between them that I couldn't have possibly known, but meant so much to her, because he did have that teasing, light hearted personality with her, particularly around travel. I even
had a charismatic, very charming younger brother who was. Helping me deliver a sarcastic kind of like a one liner to his sister, who was my client, about how very handsome he is, which brought her to laughter. And she was saying, Oh yeah, that's definitely him, because as part of the reading, and he was talking about memories they had. And he was also helping me express some of the photos that she still had of him, that she still really liked, and then he just kind of chimed in, wanting her to know that he's he's still as handsome as he ever was, and he's still the most handsome one in the family. It was like, those types of jokes, and she was like, Oh my gosh, that's definitely him. That's so him. So it really could be, in so many ways that these little droplets of humor infused really remind us of exactly their personality and who they are. There was one dad that communicated in a session, and as part of the reading, he was reminiscing about how active he was in his daughter's life. His daughter was my client, and he was particularly reminiscing about when he was teaching her how to drive because they were just so close. They they did so many things together, and he really tried hard to teach her as much as he could, and this driving thing was like a really big story in their family and in their relationship. And then he was teasing about her driving, and helping me understand that from his perspective on the other side, he just wanted to acknowledge that she still has that lead foot and that she still drives like she's trying out for NASCAR and she was she had been tearing up because of the poignancy of him sharing what a wonderful dad he was and how involved he was and and how he was really taking so much of his time, even after long days of work to teach her to drive. And then she went from being tearful to, like, cracking up laughing because she's like, Oh my gosh, he always teased me about driving too fast and stopping too hard. And it was a moment that that shared humor really just cracked her open emotionally, and it let her feel his presence in a very real and familiar way, and helped her validate and know that even though, yes, she did feel like he was with her in the car a lot, because they'd spent so much time driving together over the years, Just in general, but him making that joke about her still driving too fast and having a lead foot really validated for her that, yeah, he is still spending time with her in the car. He is still there with her. He does know that she's still driving this way, and it just somehow cracked everything even more wide open, which is really beautiful another time, a lady who was known in the world as a wonderful, warm hostess, but she this other part of her personality. She was very particular and specific with her taste and as part of her communication and expressing that, this was her personality. She was essentially joking that at her funeral, it was like, too stuffy, like it wasn't like loose enough people were having enough fun and not enough snacks. Was, was the comment that she had me make and then shared. But she really loved all of the photos that they chose they did this, like, really special picture montage, and so she said, and they had pictures, like created specially and placed all around, and it was the pictures themselves kind of told a story, so it was like a significant thing for them. So she said, like, not enough snacks, but I really loved all the photos and the stories and what that was as part of the memorial, and she helped me share. And then they also played her song, and that meant everything. And her kids, who were my clients, started looking around, kind of cutting eyes at each other around the room and kind of cracking up laughing, and confirmed that, yep, their mom was always about the snacks, the hostess with the mostest and having, like the perfect snacks, the perfect amount of snacks. And yes, they made sure to include her favorite song, which happened to be somewhere over the rainbow in the service. And that kind of really specific humor can cut through our human doubt like nothing else, and it's not just about making us laugh. Humor is deeply healing. When a loved one on the other side brings through their jokes or helps the medium to communicate their timing, their Sass, their sense of humor, it reminds us that they're still with us and they're actually okay. They're still themselves, they're still participating, just in a different way. And that humor becomes almost a part of the medicine that we so desperately need when we're grieving a loved one. It helps people to release and remember and reconnect in a real way. And so. Times, it's not just what the spirit person helps me say in a session, but it's the signs that they send after they've passed that carry their personality and sense of humor. Loud and clear, one of my favorites was a sign from a grandma who had or a grandpa, sorry, a grandfather who had a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor, and he hated country music was part of the story that he was expressing in this reading. And after he passed, his granddaughter kept getting in these ride shares and taxis and hearing the same like twangy kind of country songs that her grandpa used to have all these sarcastic comments and totally make fun of and the kicker was, one of the drivers turned around to her and said, like, this one must be playing just for you. I don't even listen to this station. And she just started laughing in the in the way she told me the story, because she said she knew it was him, like, there's no way he was still teasing her from the other side and still eye rolling at this country music. And so it was at just that tiny moment was so meaningful to her one client. I had had a dad that always joked that he wanted to decorate the yard with pink plastic flamingos. You know what those are, but they're those like lawn ornaments, like a fake Flamingo. And he would always joke with the family, with his wife, with his kids, and he wanted to put them all over the yard, like, just to piss off the neighbors. And mostly the mom would like, never let him do it. She's like, we're we're not doing that like you're not starting this feud with the neighbors. And after he passed away, his daughter went for a walk one morning, and as she turned the corner in this neighborhood, she
after she turned the corner, she
went to find a house in this neighborhood that never had decorations before. She was just like walking around the neighborhood. She, you know, turns the corner. Most people didn't decorate their lawns. And as she turned this corner, she sees a full display of pink flamingos. But it's the, it's like the Christmas light style. So it's these hanging lights all over the outside of the house that are these pink flamingo hanging lights. And she she sent me an email about it, and she said it and she said it was like, he finally got his way, she said. And she was like, really. Said she was laughing and crying, and she said it felt exactly like something he would have done. And it's those it's those things, those magical moments of their humor and their personality really validating. Like, I'm still with you. I still see you. I I'm still myself. I still have jokes over here. Another client told me that her late grandpa had a serious soft spot for animals. He was such an animal lover, but not in a gentle way. He was the kind of guy that, like, pretended to be gruff, because he was, like, just a tough personality, but had this huge soft spot for animals. So he would like, you know, put on this, like, serious face, and was very like, he doesn't want all these birds leaving a bird mess out on his back patio. And he was just a little bit of a grump about it, but secretly, he was putting out these little peanuts for the squirrels and those birds that he was complaining about the the bird droppings. He was out there talking to them in the yard, but talking to them like they were annoying neighbors. So it's like they'd they'd chirp and he'd grump back at them, and they'd chirp more, and he'd grump back at them, and it's like he was talking to these annoying neighbors, but it was just the birds out there, but he had such a soft spot that he was the one putting the peanuts and the bird food out there, despite complaining about it all the time. And after his passing, she kept having run ins with this one very bold blue jay. It always kept landing right outside her window, and like, squawking at her, like it had something to say. And the way she explained it to me is one time it even, there was even a blue jay that, like, tapped on her windshield in a parking lot, and she was was laughing, and she was, like, it was so him. He was this bird was loud and pushy and, like, weirdly charming, like, just like my grandpa. And it made her laugh every time she saw one of these birds, because she felt like it was, it was almost like it was him, in his own way, still showing up to pester her and most of the family in like, a really loving way. So it just felt so quintessentially him. Another woman shared that after her best friend passed away, she started seeing her friend's name everywhere, not just occasionally, but like pretty constantly, daily, many times a day, she was seeing her friend's name. There was a street sign she never noticed before. There was a waitress with the name. Same name on her name tag, there was a character in a random show that she decided to bin binge watch her she'd never seen before that had that name. But the funniest moment, she said, was when she opened her inbox one morning to find a promotional email, like a marketing email that said, Dear so and so her friend's name, dear friend, you're invited, and it was her friend's name coming into her email box, and she said she like startled and laughed at the same time, because she said the way she said, it was so funny. She said I felt like she was like, RSVPing to my life. So just these little funny droplets of ways that they can still show their personality and that they could still let us know that, like, I'm still me, because I know that that's a really big fear and concern for some people. When we lose someone that we really care about, it's so common that people are wondering, like, Yeah, but eventually, when I see them again, when I cross over and when we're reunited one day, way down the line, is it still going to be them? Are they still going to be themselves? Is my mom still going to, you know, laugh the way she did and and joke the way she did? And am I still going to know her? And I love these ways that they communicate this, because it's so validating that, like, no, they're still themselves. So yes, those in the spirit world absolutely have a sense of humor, and when it comes through in readings, whether it's a one on one or a group reading, it often becomes the bridge that brings so much comfort, validation and even more joy in the middle of grief, even just in moments. But not every connection with the spirit world is light hearted or easy. So what happens when the person on the other side wasn't kind or funny? What if the relationship was complicated or even painful for you? That's what I want to talk about next. What if they weren't a great person? There are complicated people that we have loved that are on the other side. Of course, this is one of those topics that doesn't get talked about enough in spiritual circles, because it's not shiny or feel good, but it's real and it really matters, especially if you are someone who has had any difficult relationship in your life ever. Here's something important to understand about how mediumships work. Readings are really based on a need, the need of the soul. It's not about who can shout the loudest to the medium from the other side. It's not about the underlying frustration or difficult memories. It's about the underlying emotional need, the healing, the peace, the closure, release, clarity, love, things like that. These are often the types of needs that help build the energy for the spirit person to communicate, especially in complicated or painful relationships. Spirit communication at its heart is soul work. It's not always easy, but it's always meaningful. Sometimes the person who communicates, or, quote, unquote, comes through, wasn't kind they weren't emotionally available, or in some cases, they were downright harmful in our lives. So the question becomes, what happens then, can those spirit people still come through? And if they do, what do we do with that? The short answer is yes. Complicated spirit. People do sometimes communicate in the reading not always and definitely not on command. But I have absolutely had sessions where a parent, a sibling, a partner, for example, communicates from the other side who had a difficult or painful relationship with the person sitting in front of me as a medium. My job isn't to make excuses for the loved ones on the other side. It's not to dress up their behavior in spiritual language. It's to be honest and create a safe space for the communication and let what needs to be shared be shared. Sometimes that includes a spirit person acknowledging their harmful actions. I've had spirit people communicate things like, I didn't know how to love you, or I was cruel because I was in pain, or even just I'm sorry, and different versions of apologies. Not every message is about glowing, happy memories. Sometimes it's about accountability, accepting responsibility, and finally, sometimes it's about offering emotions they never could in life, or even just acknowledging that truth. For some relationships, the heaviest, most lingering question, the actual need is, do they know how much they hurt me? That's some people's really heartfelt, deep question. I remember one woman who
had been estranged from her father for many, many years, and in the session, he made me aware of him and communicated and the The End. Energy or the emotion, was quiet, almost humble. Emotion was so different from the harshness that she remembered of him when he was here, but he did express that, that's who he was when he was here, harsh, difficult, challenged, angry, and he didn't defend his actions. He simply acknowledged them. He brought up enough specific details to show her that he did truly understand the impact that he had on her. He acknowledged that she felt abandoned. He shared the emotion of I see now what I couldn't see then, and he offered what felt like a deeply sincere, heartfelt apology. Of course, it didn't fix everything, but it cracked the door open just a little for her to begin her own healing in a new way. I also thought of another client that had been emotionally and verbally abused by her older brother, and in her reading she wasn't expecting him to communicate at all, and honestly, she wasn't even sure she wanted to hear from him as we started working with him. But when he showed up, the emotion the presence of him was calm, not forceful. He didn't try to justify anything. He simply communicated that he was angry, that he was depressed, that he took it out on her, and that he deeply understood and was able to see and accept all of it now from his perspective, and really wished that he hadn't treated her like that and hadn't put her through those things that simple moment just acknowledgement without excuses, was the most powerful part of that session for her. It was a very short segment of her session, just just a few, just a handful of minutes with him, but she told me later she didn't even know she needed that, but she deeply did, and it really helped her let go of some things and move forward in a new way. And then there are times when just the person's presence from the spirit world is the message, a way of saying, I see you. I'm here if you want to engage, but I honor your space if you don't. Because even on the other side, souls are still evolving. Growth doesn't stop after we pass, just like in life, not every soul is ready to take full accountability, and not every person that comes in for a reading is ready in that moment to hear about it. And there are still some learning being done. On the other side, some loved ones that we've had really challenging relationships, if it's not time for that communication to happen, will let themselves be known in a reading but will stay quiet. And sometimes that too is part of the healing process and part of the message. As mediums, we have a responsibility to be trauma informed and heart aware in how we deliver these messages to our clients, not everything needs to be said. There are definitely things that I become aware of in a reading that I don't say specifically. Sometimes the greatest gift is our discernment as a medium of what we need to express on behalf of that spirit person, so that our recipient knows for sure that it's them and that they know what happened, but not so much so that we re traumatize them. That's the power of discernment. It's a gentle truth, or even just saying this person is here, but we don't have to go there unless you're ready. Actually had this happen with a man whose session was focused mostly on his mom and sister, who were on the other side, his dad was present from the spirit world. So I was working mostly with mom and sister in spirit, and then I was aware of dad, and it felt like he was standing just behind them in my awareness, his dad had been a difficult man, and the relationship had been strained and painful in life, and I was aware of that Father's presence, but also of the deep hurt that he'd caused for my client. I let the client know that his dad was standing respectfully at a distance, not pushing in, just holding space and offering a message, if you will, of I'm here, and when you're ready, I'll be ready too. At that time, that client didn't want to engage with his dad. He didn't want to hear from him in the reading, and that was perfectly fine. His mom and sister continued communicating with loving, beautiful validations. And a couple years later, I had the honor of reading for this gentleman again, this time he was more ready, and his father was there from the spirit world and ready to share. And although it was a brief part of that session, he shared some really hard but much needed. Truths, he expressed regret and offered quiet but clear apology, because not all messages are about rainbows and reunions, some are about liberation and honoring the truth of our experiences, even the hard truths of the hard experiences. And I think we all know by now that healing cannot be rushed, and I don't believe the spirit world wants to pressure us, but they are patient. They're willing to wait. They're willing to meet us wherever we are with a new perspective, a deeper understanding, and from a place of truth and love and a soul level compassion. So whether our loved ones were warm and hilarious, reserved and very particular or complicated and even hurtful, their soul still carries the essence of who they were and the expanded wisdom of who they're continuing to become, and when they reach out from the other side to communicate, it's not random. It's rooted in support, in healing, in love. Personality doesn't get erased when we cross over to the other side. It becomes part of the way our loved ones can still remain, can still remind us, can still validate for us that they're with us, they're still themselves, they're still growing. I hope today's session gave you maybe a deeper sense of just how much life continues beyond this physical body full of quirks and truth and laughter and yes, even reconciliation. And if someone you've lost is on your mind lately, trust that they may be closer than you realize, just a heartbeat away, not just spending time with you from the spirit world, but living on with you, in your heart, in your memories, in the signs you receive through your laughter and your healing. And what I've come to discover is that, yes, they do know that really hard thing, they probably have come to accept it, and they are working on everything they can from the other side to understand why they expressed in certain ways and not others, what they could have done differently, what we actually needed versus how they showed up, and so much more. So hopefully, as you continue to receive these signs, you'll continue to allow yourself to open up a little bit more, to receive not only laughter, but healing and depth of understanding yourself. Thanks for listening, beautiful soul. I'm so grateful to have you here with me as always and as always. Please know that your loved ones on the other side are never more than a heartbeat away. They're still them, and they still love you. Big hugs. Lots of love. I will see you soon for another episode of spirit speakeasy.