This is NOT the time to ignore your uncertainty. Especially empaths, sensitives and high achievers! The way you respond to it right now can shape your next chapter. 

If you’ve been overthinking, emotionally stretched, or stuck in “I don’t know what to do next” this conversation will help you reconnect to your inner voice and move forward with more clarity.

In this episode, I break down the hidden key to expansion inside uncertainty without spiritual bypassing, toxic positivity, or pretending the world is not intense right now. 

This is a grounded, honest conversation about how to work with what is real, read your inner signals clearly, and move forward without forcing fake certainty.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to decode uncertainty before it turns into overthinking
• The 3-part framework to quickly identify what is actually going on underneath uncertainty for you
• How to read your own inner signals clearly
• The subtle patterns that keeps sensitive people stuck in indecision
• How to choose your next aligned step without needing the whole plan
• A simple reset practice to return to clarity, steadiness, and self-trust

If you’ve been second-guessing yourself, spiraling, or feeling “off,” this episode will help you decode the signal and move forward with more clarity and self-trust, even in uncertain times. 

Join me Live on Zoom for my Free Monthly Community Healing session! You'll receive a blend of Reiki (Energy Healing), Chakra & Aura Clearing & Balancing, Color Healing, Grounding, Cord Cutting, Trance Medium Healing & more. 

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YouTube: Psychic Medium Joy Giovanni

Full Episode Transcript:

Joy, hey, beautiful soul, welcome to spirit. Speak Easy. I'm Joy Giovanni, joyful medium. I'm a working psychic medium, energy healer and spiritual gifts mentor. This podcast is like a seat at the table in a secret club, but with mediums, mystics and the spiritual luminaries of our time. So come behind the velvet ropes with me and see inside my world as I chat insider style with profoundly gifted souls, we go deep, share juicy stories, laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be a speakeasy without great insider secrets and tips. You might even learn that you have some gifts of your own. So step inside the spirit speakeasy. Hey, beautiful soul, welcome in for another episode of spirit speakeasy. Have you ever noticed how uncertainty doesn't just feel uncomfortable? It can feel personal, like when something is wrong and we don't know what to do and we just feel this deep uncertainty. It can feel like something's wrong with us as an individual, like we should be over it by now, or like other people might have some map that you somehow missed. But what if uncertainty is not proof that you are lost? What if it is proof that something in you is waking up today, I want to reframe uncertainty so that we can change how we move through the unknown, because for sensitive people, especially, uncertainty is not random noise, it's information. Welcome again to spirit. Speak Easy. Today. We're talking about something that almost everyone tries to outrun, numb or solve as fast as possible uncertainty. And before we go any further, I want to acknowledge something very directly. A lot feels uncertain right now across so many parts of our world, definitely in the US, we have so many things erupting all at once, and for many people who live in the real world, this is not imagined. This is not dramatic. This is not a mindset problem. Real things are happening that are out of our control, that make everything feel very uncertain. You're not making it up. So this episode is not about gaslighting our reality of what is actually happening in our world right now. It's not about me just pouring love and light all over these hard truths of our world. It's not about spiritual bypassing, using denial or pretending everything is fine and just finding a happy mantra when things are clearly not fine, but the uncertainty is here, and it's not going anywhere. And my intention is to explore the opportunity that can also exist alongside uncertainty, and how to work with it in very real ways that support your personal growth, your inner stability and your own expansion as a human living in this wild, chaotic time. So I want to say this really clearly too. Uncertainty is not a character flaw, it's not a weakness, it's not a sign that you are failing at life. Uncertainty is an emotion. We don't often talk about it like an emotion, but today we are going to and it really like any emotion carries data, carries information. It carries direction, it carries insight. So if you have been feeling uncertain, not just with the world at large, but also perhaps in your relationship, zone of your life, about your personal next steps, about your purpose your work, if you're feeling uncertain about making a decision or your health or a timeline that you're trying to work with, if you're feeling uncertain about money or any part of your life, this episode will help you decode what that uncertainty might be trying to tell You, and if you identify as a sensitive and intuitive and Empath, or even if you're spiritually open, this is especially for you. Uncertainty can hit sensitives a little differently. It can feel louder in our body and in our awareness, and it can feel incredibly hard to ignore that beating drum of uncertainty and like it takes over our whole inner landscape. So we're going to slow it down, we're going to take some deep breaths, we're going to name it, we're going to work with it, and maybe we are even going to make some lemonade out of it. So let me really dive in with this first core truth that I want you to really hold on to as we have this conversation, uncertainty is often actually a guidepost. It's not a punishment, it's not a mistake, it's not a sign you're broken. It's a guidepost. And most people treat uncertainty like a problem that needs to be fixed, and they think the goal is to eliminate it, to
force.
Possibly attain certainty. But certainty is not always available on command, right? And the more that we demand certainty, the more that our system tightens, the more we can spiral in our emotions or our mind, the more that we grasp at straws to try to create some version of a feeling of certainty. We don't just think it though. We actually feel it in every area of our life, whether it's conscious or unconscious. And when we feel uncertainty, we might do one of a few things. Let me know if you can see yourself in any of these things that we sometimes do as a result of uncertainty. Sometimes we go into overthinking, over researching. Sometimes we ask everyone else for their opinion, like take a survey of your group chat or your office pool. They're asking everyone else what they would do or for their insight or opinion. Some people, if you're sensitive and have some experience in the metaphysical you might ask for a sign or pull some cards if you're feeling uncertain. That often, unless we're properly aligned to do so, can just lead to more confusion and more pulling more cards and feeling more spiraled out. It can even lead to some version of Doom, scrolling where we're searching online to try to distract ourselves or to try to get information. Sometimes we might try to bargain with the universe. We might try to control the timeline, make trying to make something happen faster, or trying to push something off longer. We might try to fix, quote, unquote, someone else in the situation. Have you ever done that and just thought, Okay, if I can make everyone else okay, then I can find certainty and I can be okay. But none of this makes you bad. It makes you human. It makes you a sensitive but uncertainty is not asking you to panic or to try harder. It's asking you to listen and to get more clarity. I want to really talk a little bit more about uncertainty as an emotion, because culturally, I think most of us are not taught to think about uncertainty as an actual emotion, but it is, and it's not always maybe as sharp as anger, it's not always as heavy as grief. It's maybe not as electric as when we feel excitement. Uncertainty often feels subtler. It feels it's almost like this wavering within us, right, a hesitation. Sometimes it feels like an inner fog. Even that kind of something is off, but we can't quite name it, and because it's very subtle, people can sometimes tend to dismiss this uncertainty or to get really stuck on it, because we can't really identify it, and we know something is feeling off, and then it makes us nervous. Sometimes people feel shame because they feel uncertain, or they feel a little bit left out in the cold by their intuition or their inner guidance. But emotions are just messengers, and uncertainty is one of the ways that our inner world tells us, hey, there's more information here. There's more to know. There's more happening here. Keep going into what you're feeling. There's more truth underneath, more clarity that you're maybe not ready to see yet, or that you've been avoiding, or that just hasn't been revealed. Especially with everything going on in the world, we might be triggered about uncertainty more than ever. And in most countries, there are rules and laws and the way things are done, quote, unquote, and maybe even more overtly than ever, we are seeing full disregard for many of the systems that we believed were serving as guardrails for our society. So it makes sense that we desperately want to feel more certain in the areas of our life. We want to know what's going to happen. We want some version of security, we want to know how far will things go in our world, especially when so many things seem so out of control right now. And I think it's important that we acknowledge that. So let's get into the reframe a little bit. When you're uncertain. It often means that one of these things are true. I'm going to give you three things, and when we feel uncertain, often, one of these three things is true, sometimes more than one. Number one, there's information that you don't have yet about whatever it is you're uncertain about. You're being asked sometimes to wait, to gather more information, to observe. Sometimes we need to just let something unfold. Sometimes we can take the next logical step without complete certainty, but sometimes when we feel uncertain, the reason why is because there's information we don't have. The second thing that uncertainty can often mean is there's an emotion that you haven't acknowledged yet, not because you're doing it wrong, not because.
Because you can't identify your own emotions, but because your system is protective, and sometimes we just don't have all the clarity all at once. Our nervous system is selective, our physical body and our emotional body are trying to protect us from discomfort or protect us and keeping us inside that comfort zone, right? So when you're feeling uncertain, The number two reason can be because there is an emotion that you haven't acknowledged yet. Number three, when you're feeling uncertain, that can be true is there's a truth that you already know but you don't want to admit it to yourself. Really is usually what it is this one's very tender, but it's very common, often, when we are at, let's just say, entering a relationship, right? There are things when we have those first initial stages of infatuation and love and we're feeling all the endorphins sometimes. Have you ever had the experience that there are red flags that you are ignoring, but some deep part of you actually does know, I think this is just the easiest one for most of us to identify, and whether it's a romantic relationship or a friend relationship or some other relationship in your life, if you've ever had the experience of having things go south and then Looking back and being like, you know what I did? I did realize early on that they were XYZ, or I did kind of see their tendency to have angry outbursts instead of calm conversations, right? So it doesn't have to be that, but it's just one easy example. Sometimes when we're uncertain, it is because it's an incongruency. There's a truth that we already know, but we're not willing to admit even to ourselves. And here's why uncertainty is such a gift. We don't always think of this uncomfortable emotion as a gift, but because uncertainty shows up before a lot of people are willing to be honest with themselves, uncertainty is often the first signal that something within you or something in your life is ready to evolve. It's that little kind of inner ripple before the wave shows up. And sensitives really can feel like they have more struggle with uncertainty. It can be so true for people who identify as sensitive or empaths or
just highly perceptive people, we can often feel more of a struggle with uncertainty, whereas someone who is not tuning into multiple levels of awareness at one time might just be able to let it go and move On and or just focus on their own life. Sensitives often have stronger pattern recognition, deep intuition, higher emotional attunement, for example, a deep feeling and empathy for everyone involved in a situation. Sensitives can have a nervous system that is processing more stimuli all at once. And I also believe, per This is my personal belief, that as sensitives, we are often able to sense more than one of the potentials since let me take a moment just to explain what I mean by this, in any given situation even let's just say you're listening to this and you're going to go to work tomorrow. You leaving your home and going to work? Let's just say there are so many potentials of how that could go in your day, right in any situation, any circumstance. There are many, many, many layers of what is the potential outcome, almost exponential amount, and it's what's happening in a psychic reading, an intuitive reading, it's what's happening for sensitives. A lot of the time we are able to lightly tune into probably that first to second layer of the most likely potentials, right? There will be one that based on our free will choice. Let's just say you decide to get gas on the way to work, and then you're stuck in traffic, and then you don't run out of gas, because you did get gas well if you hadn't, there's a different way that could have gone. So each little choice that we make unfolds the next part of our day and of our timeline and of our life. So in any situation or circumstance, there are many, likely, many potentials, some more likely than others. Let's say it that way, so as sensitive, even if we're not consciously aware of it, our energetic system has awareness of many possible potentials all at once. And if we're not aware of that, it can feel really overwhelming and anxiety producing, and sometimes you might not even be aware that this is happening, but it, it's kind of what leaves us with all these what ifs because we're aware, oh, there's the potential this could go this way, or this could go this way, or this could happen, or what if this person does this, or what if you know XYZ happens, or what if XYZ doesn't happen? So we.
Are aware a little bit more top of mind of those many different potentials, or at least in our energetic system. So if you have that where you get very in the weeds of the what ifs, it could just be part of you as a sensitive tuning into the different potential outcomes of what could happen. So certainly it can feel like being tuned into a radio station that you can't turn off. And if you have a history of trauma or life instability or unpredictability, uncertainty can also feel unsafe, right? It can trigger the part of you that says, I need to know what's coming so I can protect myself. I definitely resonate with that feeling. So if you do too, you are not alone. And I want to be clear, this episode again, is not about forcing you to be comfortable with chaos. It's not about normalizing this chaotic world that we're in. It's about helping you become more skillful with the unknown so you can stay grounded and connected to your intuition, and you can stop confusing uncertainty with failure or inability to know what's right for you. I'm going to give you a little bit of a framework
quickly, because I want you to understand a little bit more about how you can work with the uncertainty in your own life. I want you to imagine uncertainty for a moment like a symbol on your dashboard, like a little light that comes on, and when the uncertainty light comes on, instead of slamming on the gas or jerking the wheel to the side or slamming on the brakes, you can do a quick check in. We all have that little light inside of us, proverbially, of it, of uncertainty that starts to blink right, or that little red flag in our emotions, of like, oh, feeling uncertain here, don't know, don't know what to do exactly. So instead of just jumping to
a big over correction, you can really just do a quick check in with you, and in just a minute towards you know, in the latter part of the episode, I'm going to give you some journaling prompts, and then I'm going to give you an exercise to do to even deepen those journaling prompts. So that is coming. Don't worry. So here's the framework. I want to talk about these three categories that we talked about above, of what can be happening when we have uncertainty, and I'm going to give you some things to consider around them. So this first category that we're going to explore is
I don't have all the information yet. Remember, we said that can be one of the things that's happening when we feel uncertain. I don't have all the information yet. This is kind of the cleanest kind of uncertainty, or the less the least messy or muddy kind of uncertainty. You're uncertain because you literally do not have data or information. The conversation hasn't happened yet. You haven't received the email response. The offer hasn't been made, the timeline of the appointments and dates hasn't been confirmed yet. You don't know how that other person feels. You don't know what your body's going to do yet. You don't know how the money is going to land yet, or if the promotion is going to come right. It's an uncertainty
that often leads us into spiraling right. But the solution to this type of uncertainty is not spiraling. I don't know that the solution to anything is spiraling. It's more about pacing. So when you have this type of uncertainty, the I don't have enough information yet. Uncertainty, here are some questions that you can kind of sit with, what information is missing? Sometimes it's a lot of information, sometimes it's smaller pieces of information, and you can just kind of get a sense of this if it's a big topic you're feeling uncertain about, and when you can sort of identify what what information is missing for you to feel more certain, you can also understand, is it missing because I haven't asked someone for the information, or is it missing because it's just not available yet, right? So that's how we want to start to peel the layers back of this type of uncertainty. What's the next right step or the next aligned step right? When we're dealing with the uncertainty of I don't have all the information yet, and we have to still make a choice. Sometimes we can just take the smallest next aligned step, right? It could be, oh yeah, I got to make that phone call, or I have to read that contract, or I should actually, yeah, it's because I haven't asked for the information yet. I should ask a direct question. Sometimes it's getting a second opinion. Might be the smallest next step that you could do. Sometimes it's pausing and saying, Okay, I don't have the information yet, because the information isn't available yet, I'm not going to get out of control within myself. I'm just going to pause and wait for more information or seek more information, right? And this is where uncertainty.
Becomes a little more practical, it becomes more of a path, right? So the second category of uncertainty that we had talked about just a few minutes ago is I haven't acknowledged how I really feel.
There's feelings that we're not addressing, right? This is probably the more common for sensitives. Uncertainty comes in when we're carrying a feeling that we're not fully letting ourselves feel or name. It might be disappointment, it might be resentment, it might be grief,
it might be relief. It might be a little quiet no within you. It might be something inside of you is just saying no, just Nope. I don't want to do that, and you're not admitting the feeling that, oh yeah, I'm feeling like, actually, I don't want to do this thing.
It can even be a fear underneath, one of the fears that we talk about a lot here, fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of being seen, fear of
being vulnerable, right? There's so many fears that can be underneath that we just might not be acknowledging when we're feeling this uncertainty.
Also, uncertainty can become like a bit of a mask that we wear. What I mean by that is because I'm uncertain,
feel safer than to say because I'm scared, right? So whether it's to ourselves or someone else in the situation, it just feels a little easier sometimes to say, Oh, I'm just not sure, or I don't know the right thing to do, rather than Oh, I'm scared actually, to do this next thing. Or maybe it feels easier to say, I'm uncertain. It feels safer than to say like, oh, I'm actually just not happy. This is not making me happy anymore. I need to rework this. Or sometimes saying I'm certain feels safer than saying, actually I want to leave. See this a lot in my work, whether it's someone wanting to leave a relationship or a job or a situation that they're in, it can sometimes feel safer to say, Oh yeah, I'm just not I don't know what I'm supposed to do, instead of saying actually I'm unhappy and I want to leave this situation, sometimes it can feel safer to say I'm not sure I'm uncertain than actually I want more, because many of us are conditioned that it's not okay to want more for ourselves, or it's greedy. Or who do you think you are? Right? So this is where the emotions around this feeling of uncertain becomes sticky. Uncertainty doesn't stand alone. There are always additional emotions with it, particularly for sensitives, and often we're just not identifying all the emotions happening when we're feeling uncertainty. So then the question becomes, if uncertainty is the surface emotion. What's underneath? Right? And I'll give you a few common underneath emotions. I know we were just talking about a few. I'll give you a few more. Grief can be a very common emotion underneath, because uncertainty often means something is changing, and grief often shows up when something is changing. Sure, this could be the loss of a person who's crossed over to the spirit world. It could be the loss of a relationship, the breakdown of a relationship, like divorce. It could be leaving a job, even if it's like a good leaving. Maybe you're leaving because you got an amazing opportunity somewhere else. It doesn't mean that some part of you isn't experiencing grief about the change or about the stepping away from the job that you've been at for however long that made it clear to you that you didn't want to do that career anymore, right? Another underneath emotion can be anger. This one's a little sticky, especially for sensitives, because we are often conditioned that we need to be nice to everyone, that we need to smooth things over and get along, that we are not supposed to have big, intense emotions about people or situations. Anger can show up underneath because we might feel like we've been misled, or like we've been carrying more than our fair share, or like we've been tolerating too much for sensitives. Often anger shows up after we've been pushing, suppressing, pushing an emotion down for a long time. It can kind of shift into anger sometime where it might just have started as unhappiness or discontentment, Left to Fester, right. Sometimes, instead of saying, like, Hey, I have some boundaries here. I'm not going to accept this person speaking to me this way, we shove it down. We try to get along. We try to be the peacekeeper. And over time, it makes us angry. It can be fear that is the underneath emotion, because the unknown can threaten our sense of safety, even if our current situation is also uncomfortable again, it's a version of change and fear shows up to keep us safe, right, to keep us in that comfort zone, to keep us small, often to say, like, Oh, don't go out there into the light. You don't know what's out there. Stay in here and don't share your opinion.
Don't share your gift of mediumship. Don't say what you have to say. It's scary out there, right? So there's lots of versions of fear that can be the emotion underneath. Desire can also be the emotion underneath, though we're talking about not being happy anymore, and sometimes this one surprises people, this emotion of desire being underneath uncertainty. Sometimes uncertainty shows up when you want something that you're afraid to ask for or hope for. We have a desire, and then we feel the need to resist that desire, and maybe that desire is aligned for us. That's something to explore too. So you stay uncertain, because certainty would mean that you have to admit what you want, that you have to admit, oh, actually, I want more. Or actually, even though I have this thriving career, actually I want to do this different thing. Or even though we've been in this relationship for a long time, I'm ready to be ending this relationship. For example, it could show up in lots of ways, but some people are surprised that even like an emotion that you would think would feel good, desire can be underneath uncertainty, because admitting and then having to take action in the world feel scarier than just saying, Oh, I don't know. I don't know what's the right choice for me. Have you ever experienced this? I certainly have. So I hope that you are resonating with this. The third category that can be happening, like we were talking about, when uncertainty arises, can be because your intuition is trying to get your intention. So this is more of the spiritual layer, and this often is where I was talking above, about that feeling of something that we know, that we're not willing to admit that we know yet, or we're not willing to listen to our intuition about yet. And uncertainty can be a signal from your soul, your guides, your inner knowing that, hey, there's more here. It's not necessarily that something is wrong, per se. When we feel uncertain, it can be, but not always. It can be that something is hidden, something is not yet uncovered, something is unspoken or unresolved. Your intuition doesn't always speak in full sentences, as we've talked about a lot, a lot of the time, it speaks in breadcrumbs or nudges or sensations. Our intuition can be
tickling our awareness through contraction, right? We might feel like we want to contract away from uncertainty. We can feel it as a fog of like, yeah, I just, I just can't see the elements happening. I just really feel like I don't know what I should do. I just, even though I know the obvious answer is, take the job. Something in me just feels uncertain, and I don't know what it is, right? It can just be that there's fogginess that's trying to get our attention. Of, like, hey, there's more information here. It can feel like hesitation. It can feel like a pullback, right? Like, Oh, I just want to pull back my energy out of this situation or relationship, it can feel like you can't quite relax into something, right? That can be our intuition speaking to us where it's like, yeah, I don't know. Everything seems like I should be enjoying this group, but I'm just not. I just can't relax. I just don't feel like I could be myself. Here. It's your intuition trying to give you more information. This can also show up as curiosity, or the feeling like you're missing something in the situation, even if you can't place it. We often think that intuition is supposed to show up with a lot of certainty, and it usually doesn't, because all the elements are not clear all at once, often and often, like we were talking about a few minutes ago, sometimes some of the information is just not available yet, right? But we are getting intuition about feeling uncomfortable or uncertain. Our intuition is not going to strike us most of the time. It can happen occasionally, but most of the time, our intuition is not going to strike us with a lightning bolt of clarity. And when it does which I have had happen, it's just a quick knowing, but probably not a whole lot of next steps yet, or probably not, how these puzzle pieces are going to come together in a way that you feel certain, because most of the time in our world, there's lots of moving pieces happening all the time, and even if we can't quite place what that, oh, something's missing here, or I don't know what I'm not identifying here, it doesn't mean your intuition is not working correctly. It just means that's the way it does communicate through uncertainty. So if you're uncertain, you can ask, What's my body doing when I think about this? Right? When you think about this relationship or this conversation you need to have, or this job, whatever it might be for you, what's happening in your body. This one was really shocking to me when I started into this work. And I remember my first mentor, we were doing some personal development, and she was saying, Where do you feel that in your body? And I was like, What are you talking about? I don't.
Feel feelings in my body like I didn't understand that emotions create sensations in our physical body. I thought physical body sensations were, I don't know, gas or whatever it might be, a headache. Of course, I knew emotional stress could cause us to have a headache, right? Could lead to us having a headache, but I just didn't know we need to pay attention in our bodies when we're feeling resistance or uncertainty. So that's the first thing to check in on. Noticing. Do you expand or do you contract? Do you feel excited like you want to move forward, or do you feel resistant like you want to take a step back? Ask yourself, when I think about this thing that I'm uncertain about. Do you feel energized or do you feel drained? Do I feel open, or do I feel like I need to brace myself? And this one's important. Sometimes certainty is not a no, sometimes uncertainty, sorry, is not a no. Because we often think, Oh, if I'm not sure, then that's a no. That's I shouldn't do it unless I'm completely sure or completely certain I'm not going to do it. Uncertainty doesn't always mean No, sometimes it's not yet. Sometimes it's slow down. Sometimes it's, Hey, you're skipping a step. Sometimes it's there's more truth here, even if that truth is about yourself, because through uncertainty, we can uncover so many things about ourself. I feel uncertain a lot of the time, guys, that's just the truth. And even, for example, when I'm working with a client, I'm not certain of everything going on with them. I'm feeling into and perceiving and receiving information a bit at a time, and then I'm starting to more certainly understand the information. So I don't want you to feel like uncertainty means that you're doing something wrong or that you're not plugged into your intuition. And I want to take this a little further and put it into a real life, because you guys know I love a real world application for this work. So if you're uncertain about someone, a person, let's just say it could be that you don't have enough information about them yet. Maybe you don't know them well enough. Maybe you don't know their expertise as it relates to the business deal you're trying to do, right? You just might not have enough information yet. It could be that you haven't admitted to yourself about how you feel truly about this person yet, or what your hesitations are. It could be that your intuition is picking up inconsistencies, because most people, I just was talking to someone about this who is new in their dating journey, and they were saying like, well, these people that I'm going on dates with are telling me these things, and these are the correct things that I want to hear, and I don't know how to tell you know if they're being honest or not. And what I was saying in the conversation is like, yeah, it's it's sometimes challenging, because the honest people are gonna say this thing to you that you want to hear, and the dishonest people are going to say this thing to you that you want to hear. All the people are going to say this same thing. It's up to you to understand in your intuition when you're feeling inconsistencies in what they're saying and how they're behaving in what they're saying, or how they're showing up, and what you feel like the agreement was right. So our our system, our intuition, picks up inconsistencies a lot, very easily, and sometimes it can even show up where it's like, I just want to really make sure I'm like, sealing this in for you. It doesn't always mean that our intuition is giving us, like, the math equation. Oh, on Thursday, they said this, and on Saturday, they showed up like this, and that equals this. Sometimes it can be that on Saturday, when we meet them, there's something they said or did that just kind of stays with us a little bit. It just kind of hangs in our mind a little longer. It just kind of stays in what we noticed, even if we're not sure why we noticed it, where it's like, I have an example. I'm trying to, like, make it more neutral. I know you guys don't know this person that this example is about. I'm gonna try to keep it real general. I was coaching someone who's dating, not the same person I just mentioned, but a different person. And we were I was trying to explain to them and show them and illustrate to them how our intuition can be kind of showing up and connecting dots for us and little nudges, even if we're not doing the math out loud at that moment. And they said they went on this date with this person, and this person had told them that they were a pretty high level executive. And you know, as they're getting to know each other, they're learning about their job, their career, their where they live, what they do. And then the person was coming to a date from work and had given a story about that, and then when they showed up at the date, they didn't appear as though that was true. And my client said they didn't think much of it, because they were like, you know, whatever.
Everyone comes from work differently, and the energy that they bring and but then they said, when they were talking to this person on this date, they just it just was sticking with them. The way this person was dressed, and the way this person looked a little like disheveled, not like you would look if you had just come from a corporate meeting. And they didn't really think much of it again, their brain wasn't doing the math on a whiteboard in front of them, but in our next conversation, they just were like, Yeah, I don't know why, just sticking with me. I mean, this person looked fine. It's not like they were dressed inappropriately for the restaurant we went to, but something about their appearance, I don't know, just kind of sticks out to me on this specific date. And then we unpacked it and did the math, and this person was realizing, Oh, this way, that this person's presenting themselves to me over the phone and in our initial conversations and our initial date is not the same as what I'm seeing when I'm having conversations and meeting up with this person. It's an inconsistency, right? Okay, no, that was a bit of a tangent about inconsistency, but our intuition helps us pick up inconsistencies, and it's like little breadcrumbs that will make a whole puzzle when we add them all together, our soul, your soul, my soul, realizes sometimes when we're about to repeat an unhealthy pattern, and a sensitive person will Often sense a mismatch before we can, quote, unquote, prove it. And sometimes we can get stuck in that mud because we feel like, oh, I don't know. I don't want to I'm I feel like I'm judging this person. I feel like I'm, you know, I don't want to be mean. I hear this all the time. So if you're watching this and you can see me making faces, this is why, because I'm thinking about several specific people as I'm saying this. But the truth is, our sensitive soul self, right, realizes, oh, there's a mismatch here. There's an incongruency here. But our human mind wants to rationalize and say like, well, you're not being very nice. You're being judgy. Don't judge what someone wears on a date or how they have their hair. It's not that you're judging, it's that you're collecting information. So if you can kind of reorient to that, it'll help. And again, then we try to talk ourselves out of it, saying, like, Oh, you don't have evidence of that. That's not true. You're being judgy, right? So you don't always need evidence to slow down intuition of something feeling off or incongruent or little things you're noticing. That's enough. You don't need evidence to feel how you feel, but you do need evidence to
accuse someone of something, right? You don't need evidence to honor your body. If your body is feeling uncomfortable every time you are in the presence of a person, even if you don't understand why. Doesn't mean you need to dismiss that feeling uncertainty. Could be your inner wisdom saying, hey, gather more information before you invest more of your heart and your time here, there's a time in my life where it seemed like somehow I kept choosing partners that had the same similar undesirable traits in different versions, and I would even joke and say, I feel like I keep finding the same wolf in a different sheep's clothing, because when they would present themselves to me, initially, they'd be saying the right things and showing up in ways that kind of convinced me. And several of those times I even was like, Yeah, I don't think this is going to work. I don't feel like we're a match. I feel like we're going in different directions, and they would literally convince me to give them a chance, or give them more chances, or what it might be. So I just am saying this because I want you guys to know this is a journey we all go through, whether it's in our relationship zone or some other zone in our lives. And I've worked really hard on this one, and I know what a difference it can make. And the vulnerable truth here, for me is that I had work to do on myself. It's not these people's fault that they kept presenting themselves, you know, different versions of these same traits. Of course, they're not going to say, Oh, I'm here to psychologically abuse you. No one's going to say that. And probably they don't think of themselves like that, right? So it's not, you know, it's not to be judged, right? It's not, it's not picking this apart to judge it, but it's realizing that, again, vulnerable truth here for me was like, Oh, I had work to do on myself. People can show up however they want. It's up to us as individuals if we choose to engage. And I needed to understand what this part of me was connecting with in these specific types of individuals and why, and I've done a lot of hard work on it, and you know, we still are who we are, but I do a much better job these days. So don't worry. Worry too much about me. Okay, I'm gonna give it another example besides relationship on career or purpose uncertainty, because it's something I so often hear it's a big one for sensitives, saying, like, I don't know what my purpose is supposed to be. And again, you're not just choosing a job, you're choosing an energetic environment as a sensitive it's always more going on for sensitives. There's more going on for everyone, but sensitives are more aware of it and more impact.
Affected by it. Sometimes uncertainty in a Career Zone means this version of you is outgrowing the old path, the old career you were doing. And I have to say this really clearly too, I don't necessarily believe we have to abandon the old path to start the new path, meaning, if something is stirring inside of you saying, Yeah, I know. I've been a butcher for 15 years, and I don't want to be a butcher anymore. I don't want to do this butcher business. I want to write books and cookbooks. Let's just say, hypothetically. Well, it doesn't mean you have to close your butcher shop and kick out all your clients, right? Start doing the other thing that your soul is calling you towards on the side until it's time to switch over start working out your Cookbook Recipes, you know, in the back of your butcher shop in the evenings when the business is closed, right? So sometimes we make this leap in our mind, and that's part of what makes it feel so scary, is it's like, oh, if I acknowledge this, and I have to do this big change, and I have to jump into this whole transition, it doesn't have to work that way, because the old path can be familiar and familiar can feel safe even when it's not aligned. So sometimes people get very stuck in, oh, I'm going to stay in the same path, even though my soul's calling me to something else. Uncertainty might be that space between these two identities, you as a butcher and you as the cookbook author, right? And that you that created that butcher shop and the you that's becoming it's the same you. There's just distance in between, or emotions to be worked through, or more to understand in between. It doesn't mean you're behind. It means you're in transition, right? I'm going to give another example of money uncertainty, because that's another one that I hear quite a bit. Money uncertainty often triggers, triggers lots of our survival patterns and our survival emotions, and this does often tap back into our childhood experiences. And I'm not someone who you guys know. I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a psychologist, I'm a medium, but I've done a lot of personal development and read a lot of books. What I'm trying to say here is really money, uncertainty, money blocks, money stories, they often come from our upbringing, good or bad, like it or not, doesn't mean we can't reorient ourselves to them. It doesn't mean we can't learn and grow, right? But often our money scarcity or money fear, money stories come from our past. So just to know, because that might be a part of what's happening when you feel like, well, I'm really secure today. I'm working really hard. I make a paycheck. I'm paying my bills. Why am I still feeling this way? You can also investigate what your story was about money growing up, or even in your young adult life, to work this energy as well. Just as another layer is when we feel uncertain about money. I want you to try asking things of yourself like, am I uncertain because I need more information, like, numbers, budgets, timeline? Is that what the uncertainty is here? Or am I uncertain because I'm carrying fear for my past? That's why I mentioned this. Like past work, inner child work, sometimes uncertainty is not about the present. It's about a memory. It's about a previous season of your life when you didn't have enough, or when money was looked at in certain way. It can be a time when you felt unsafe. It can be a time when you felt alone, whether you were in a relationship or not. It can be a time when your nervous system was really in an upheaval due to what was going on in your life, and if your nervous system is reaching and reacting to the past. The solution is not going to be more research about money, right? The solution is going to be regulating and then making aligned choices so you can create more abundance, or know what to do with the abundance you have. I want to talk about something gently in here as part of all of this uncertainty talk. I want to name something. Again, very gently here, a lot of people have a belief in the illusion of control. What do I mean by that? And again, often they don't think they do, but they do. They think, oh, if I can just know what's going to happen, I can relax, because I'll have more control. But certainty is not what creates safety. Capacity creates safety. Your ability to handle outcomes create safety because a belief that we can control or manage or plan is how I used to say it. In my own life, I've dealt with some illusion of control issues, and I still do
sometimes we have this like false belief that if we again can control or manage or plan all the elements, all the ingredients and the people around us, we can ensure safety. It's just an illusion. We know that we can't possibly control all the elements, all the chaos of this world, all the people around us. It's not real. But we do get this false belief within.
Us that if we can control x, then certainly y will be okay, right? And it just doesn't work like that. To think that we have any control in this big, wide world is just an illusion. So if you find yourself constantly chasing certainty, you can ask, What do I believe will happen if I don't know? Is it like you're like, Do you guys remember that story? Chicken Little running around? The sky is falling. The sky is falling. If you believe that you don't know something, do you believe that that's what's going to happen, the sky is going to fall. You can ask yourself, what story does my nervous system tell me about the unknown? You can ask, Do I equate not knowing with danger. And the truth is, you can check in here to ask yourself, if you worked with the parts of you that you can work with to plan or prepare for for example, if you're traveling, right? Have you made sure, hypothetically, to bring the medications that you need with some extra doses of it in case unexpected travel delays happen. And did you get the proper paperwork and documents you need? Let's say, to travel abroad, outside of your country, to another country with these specific medications. And have you planned a safe spot in your carry on bag to organize your medications and then so you can access them easily with the documents, if you're asked, right? Do you need to preset A daily reminder or an alarm for the different time zone you're going to be traveling to beyond things like this, life can bring lots of things outside of our control, but we can really just try to anticipate the parts we can and plan for the parts that we can manage. Right? Just still doesn't mean we can control fully, but really just understanding that life is going to always bring things that out are outside of our control, this is just part of our human experience. But if you find yourself upset about this feeling of uncertainty, again, it's not shameful, it's human. It's often learned, and is sometimes even true, and the healing is not forcing certainty, because the hard truth is the world's an uncertain place. We cannot control other people, other people's choices or behaviors, and as hard as we try, we often cannot even control all of our own circumstances. Markets crash, natural disasters happen, unpredictable things pop up all the time. Travel delays pop up, especially if we're traveling to another country where we might have delays that we would need an extra week of medication for in my previous example. So part of the healing is building trust in yourself that you've done the elements you can it's like that serenity prayer, right? God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can't control, to do the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I know I'm butchering that, but you guys know what I'm talking about. I hope
so. It's about building deeper trust with yourself. That's the deeper certainty here. So I'm going to give you a little bit of a practical tools, like a journaling
exercise. I'm going to give you the journaling prompts, and then after that, I'm going to briefly go into, if you have a little more time to do, like a real exercise with yourself, how to settle yourself in and align yourself. Because sometimes, when we jump into these questions that I'm going to give you right now without doing some grounding or something. It can be that mental processing scared, anxious part of us that answers the questions rather than that aligned honest, intuitive part of us. So I want to do this exercise with you. You can journal this you can just sit with these questions. And for this exercise, you're going to want to think of one area of your life where you are feeling uncertain right now, you can even pause to think about it, but I think most of us know an area that we're like, Yeah, I'm just not sure what to do here. I'm just not sure what's going to happen here. The first question is, what am I afraid is true? Just name it and again, this just for you. This is private. You ever share this with anyone? You can be as honest as you want. I like a digital journal because I feel like you can, you know, erase it if you want, download it if you want. So with this area that you're feeling uncertain about, what is it that you're afraid is true? Are you afraid of, you know, it's that. Do you have imposter syndrome? Are you afraid you're going to be found out? Are you afraid of full devastation and collateral like, just be really honest with yourself, and even if you feel like this is a dramatic answer coming out of you, it's okay not judging yourself through this process, right? What are you afraid? Is true? Okay? Question two, what do I already know, but I keep minimizing this is where your intuition speaks a little bit more to you, because often we do know more information than our conscious mind might realize that we know, and often we keep minimizing it or hiding it from ourselves, or that part of ourselves that was taught to be agreeable keeps redirecting us to look over here. Don't look at this behavior over here. Look over here, right? So what do you already know that you keep minimizing.
What do I already know that I keep minimizing and question three, what is the smallest next step? Not the whole plan, not the 10 year strategy. The next step, a text, a question, a pause, a boundary, a decision to gather more information. It can be a very small next step. It can be, oh, I got to make the list of the people I need to email about sending my resume out, right? So the smallest next step, and often we do know, but we get so in the weeds of wanting the whole plan. I'm going to say this very quickly, many years ago, I was doing an exercise. I still do it occasionally, where I go in and meet with my spirit guides and
ask them, invite them, intend to receive just my couple next steps for whatever it is that I'm bringing into this meditation. And at the time, it was about transitioning from my previous career and wellness into mediumship. And I had gone to the meditation and I got my next steps and I wrote them down. There's three things, not a lot. There were small steps, totally actionable. And a week later, I went back into meditation, and I was like, more next steps. And the answer that I received in meditation was, you haven't done the steps we already gave. You do those, and then we can go over more and often in these types of meditations. For me, when I do get information or guidance, it comes so much all at once, like a giant bubble of information. And what I was aware was in that information, and that quote, unquote answer was this, knowing that if we showed you the entire path, step by step for the next 10 years, you wouldn't understand it anyway. You wouldn't believe us, and we can't control you to predict that future, so just do the steps we're giving you and then do the next steps. So I'm really condensing that just for like, quickness of story here. But what are the next actionable steps? That's the question three. What's the smallest next step? Let go of needing to know the whole plan all at once. Okay, so
I really want to give one more for sensitives of these journaling prompts. The fourth question, if you're sensitive or an empath, if my uncertainty had a message, what would it say?
Sometimes this could be like, stop rushing. Sometimes it could be like you're ignoring yourself, or you're ignoring this feeling. Sometimes it can be this is not aligned, or this version of this is not aligned, or it can be, let it unfold a little more. Or it can be, seek more clarity. Be available, be aware in your day to day for more clarity around this topic, right? Okay. So those are the questions. Three, if you
three, if you want to, want to do a quick one, and four, if you're an empath or want to go a little deeper. Now, when you have a little more time, and it's you're in a safe space to do so I'm going to give you a little process quickly that can help refocus you out of that busy mind and into your center. Before you do the questions that I just mentioned, essentially, you just want to soften your gaze, kind of relax your mind a little bit, take some slow, easy breaths, bring your awareness all the way into the center of your head, and then gently bring the uncertain situation into your mind, into your awareness, gently notice it in your body. Are there any feelings, any emotions, any sensations that you're drawn to in your body, or any areas of your body that you're drawn to just notice, don't analyze, only noticing, not seeking information, just being available to notice. And what do you feel in your body, in your chest, in your throat, in your stomach, in your jaw. Place your hand on your tummy if you want, and another hand on your heart if you want. And just take some easy breaths and to yourself say some version of I'm willing to receive more information from this uncertainty about what it carries, right? I'm willing to receive more information from this uncertainty and take some breaths, and then you can do the journaling prompts and ask yourself, now, what am I not letting myself know?
What am I not letting myself feel? What's the true next step? And again, it's not a booming answer. It's a gentle, subtle signal. It can be a word, it can be an image, a sensation, a direction. It can feel like a softening or a tightening. Take some more breaths as you're doing this, and exhale, and you can validate to yourself. I don't need certainty to take the aligned Next Step. Keep breathing good.
So that's a way to just get yourself centered, to ask those questions that we went over, the journaling questions, and reminding yourself you don't need full certainty or the full map to take the next aligned step.
Yeah, and again, just to reiterate, uncertainty is not your enemy. It's not proof that you're failing. It's not proof that your guides or your soul or intuition has failed you. It's often proof that your system is being honest with you, that your intuition is active, that you're sensing something real and something more than what you can see with your eyes, and the most powerful reframe is this uncertainty is an invitation to become available, available to your truth, available to your feelings, available to the next layer of your information, available to guidance and a deeper knowing of yourself. You're not here on this planet at this time, in this very moment, to force yourself or your life into certainty. And like me, you've probably already learned that just being upset about uncertainty or resisting the uncertainty isn't actually helping either. You're here to learn how to move with your inner knowing, even when the whole map isn't visible yet. So if this episode supported you opened another window of your mind, or gave you something to think about, I would love for you to share it with a friend who's been in that I don't know what to do space lately. And if you want to take this even deeper, you are always welcome to come visit me at joyful medium.com and get on my VIP email community so that we can work more together. And if you really want to go deep into your own work, we can schedule a session and get you going. And as always, be gentle with yourself. Be compassionate with your uncertainty. It's not trying to ruin your life. It's trying to reveal something. I hope this has been helpful. Big hugs. Lots of love. I will see you very soon. Bye from inside spirit speakeasy.